Top 5 New Years Resolutions that you should NEVER make:
1. To start dieting,
2. To start exercising,
3. To stop smoking,
4. To stop drinking
5. To be more active.
I know what you’re thinking…you’re thinking I’m crazy for writing this because these are the top NY Resolutions that most people make. Well, let me tell you…they’re also the top NY Resolution’s that most people break as well! What’s the point of making them, if all you’ll be doing is breaking them?
You want to know why these specific resolutions are always broken? It’s a simple answer; because every single one of them requires a very intentional focus on a “lifestyle change”, NOT just a simple decision.
You can’t just say “you know what, I’m going to start working out every day”. It’s not about working out; it’s about changing the way you’re living. You know why diets don’t work? Simply because they do nothing more than fulfill a temporary feeling inside of you that says “something needs to change”. The diet is not the answer. YOU ARE!
IF You really wanted to start dieting, start working out, stop smoking and drinking you wouldn’t make a New Years resolution to do those things…you would have come to the conclusion already within you, which doesn’t require any additional “promise”.
I’ve been struggling with my weight now for the past 7 years…and you know what? This year I don’t care how much I weigh or what size of jeans I can fit in…I am focused solely on simply living a healthier lifestyle…and if the ancillary benefit to this is a slimmer, sexier body…well, then that’s awesome!
Hey, in order to do something you’ve never done, you have to become someone you’ve never been! Don’t “try” it; just do it, be it and love it!
Dear Kristy, Good Morning !!!! What's your thoughts about removing my mean mom ? I'm trying so hard . I've been following the secret for over 7 years now . I'm good at it in someways ... Someways not so much ... Like my family . It's ripping my heart out . I guess I'm just hoping I get some message from you saying its ok, I'm gonna be ok . Thanks for taking the time to read my stuff. I've been following your blogs for a little over a year now and I absolutely love you!
I am assuming you're asking me this because I am always telling people to remove the negative toxic people from their lives, no matter whom it is....moms included! It's just not possible to live a positive life with negative people in it, regardless of the "titles" those negative people hold in our lives.
It's easier said than done but I believe we must take a personal stand and say "I will not, and cannot, accept your negative energy in my life anymore. If it's someone you truly cannot remove completely then you need to learn how to "compartmentalize" them in your life. Keep them in a place that's safe, not destructive.
When, and if, you're around them stay "tuned out" temporarily, in the moment. Do not discuss things that are "hot topics" which could lead to negative energy and keep your distance in every way possible. Listen, a few years ago I cleansed my life of all toxic negative people...some stayed away for good...and some, after having found their own way in life, came back to me with a renewed sense of our relationship.
It's like the air masks that drop down in case of loss of cabin pressure on the airplane. Place your mask firmly on you first before helping those around you! IF YOU ARE NOT ALIVE and well you will be of no true service to anyone anyways! ALWAYS take care of yourself first...
Dear Kristy, My heart is broken and confused right now and I'm hoping you can offer me a little insight. My son, over the holidays, came home and told my husband and I that he is gay. To be honest with you, as his mom, I always wondered, since he was a little boy, I had a strange feeling this was coming some day. So I was a little more accepting of it, as it wasn't that big of a shock to me. My husband, however, being the strong Christian man that he is, told my son that he is never allowed in our home with any of his "male friends" and that he does not and will never accept him, or his lifestyle. My son left the table and we haven't heard from him since. He won't return my calls or texts or messages and has since deleted me on Facebook too. I know he's hurting but my husband is hurting too and now I'm feeling caught in the middle of the two of them. How can I reconcile this and make them talk this out?
Dear Mrs. Christian.
First of all, I would stop referring to your husband as a "strong Christian man". His behavior is more like a weak little child who is throwing a temper tantrum, and hurting people in his destructive path, simply because he can't get his way.
The reality that your son finally found the strength to be honest with you and your husband's reaction was that of "rejection" and "dissension" is sad and wildly UN-CHRIST LIKE, not to mention (in my opinion) pathetic and borderline abusive!
You need to make sure that your son knows that YOU LOVE HIM and that YOU are here for him and that YOU WILL NEVER turn your back on him, despite your husbands actions otherwise!
You have a greater responsibility now more than ever to be an example of love and acceptance for your son right now.
YOU ACTUALLY have a chance right now to show your son what it means to actually BE CHRIST LIKE...show him what a true Christian would do...and LOVE HIM, not turn your back on him!
You aren't choosing between your son or husband. At this point, you're choosing between right and wrong. To not love someone and to turn our backs on someone, simply because their actions don't fit within the confounds of our personal beliefs which WE ALSO PERSONALLY CHOOSE, is wrong.
SUPER SOON TO BE STEP DAD
Dear Kristy, my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. She has 2 kids that I am growing to love and adore. So much so that when I'm referring to them to other people I hate calling them "my girlfriend's kids". It really does a disservice to the relationship that I'm building with them. However, I'm aware that they're not yet "our" kids or "my kids" so what can I call them that makes that really shows how special they are to me?
Dear SUPER "SOON TO BE" STEPDAD
That's a great question. First of all, kudos to you for being such a cool dude! I LOVE THAT you're so open to building a relationship with the kids and that your heart is with them already.
I would suggest that you ask the kids what they want you to call them? Are they old enough? What if you presented this question to them, with your girlfriend, as a family discussion and see what they have to say about it?
If they're not yet old enough to offer you some honest advice on the issue, my suggestion would be that you call them "the kids", or something sweet and adorable like "the little ones", and not differentiate between WHOSE kids they are?
Continue to be you...and let the relationship fall into place as it naturally should and will in all of your lives....the truth is that eventually you'll realize that "titles" don't matter!
MAD IN THE MORNING
Dear Kristy, this is probably the weirdest question you've ever been asked but how do I tell my husband that I want him to stop trying to kiss me in the morning, before he brushes and uses mouthwash? He is so sweet, and so affectionate, and I love that he wants to kiss me but first thing in the morning when he has the worst morning breath. I mean it is is just awful! I don't want to hurt his feelings. How do I approach this?
Dear Mad in the Morning: First of all, EW. That's freaking nasty. Anyone with any degree of intelligence understands the bacteria that is built up in our mouths overnight and all of the reasons we have morning breath. That's just gross. Honestly, I think it's mean that your husband isn't considerate enough to brush his teeth for you first. So, first of all, stop feeling bad. You are the victim here!
I'm assuming you're asking me because your husband is sensitive? What am I saying? Of course he's "sensitive"...he wants to cuddle and love on your first thing in the morning. His morning breath however has become a deterrent to cuddle time...You have two options to choose from.
Option #1: the "sensitive" approach.
Take the blame off of him and put it more on you. I would say: "love muffin, I love LOVE (emphasis) that you want to cuddle and love on me in the morning but I never really want to make sure my breath is nice and fresh. I'm always worried that I have "morning breath" and I want to make sure that I'm brushed and clean before we start our make-out session. I seriously feel uncomfortable even kissing you because I'm so worried about my breath. I want to wake up to you every morning of my life to your kisses...but not until we have fresh breath"! ;)
Option #2: the "direct" approach.
Okay look, it's really sweet that you want to "make-out" with me first thing in the morning...but honestly your breath is so rank I can't even take it anymore. It's foul. Your morning breath makes me want to sleep in the next room. I'm so afraid that you're going to try and kiss me before you've brushed your teeth that I often try and slip out of bed, as stealth like as possible, straight up MI2 style, just so I don't wake you. It's sweet that you're so sweet...I wouldn't want it another way, but the truth is that all of the sweetness goes out the window the minute I smell your breath. It's selfish of you not to want to be clean and fresh for me. Want to wake up and kiss me? GREAT! Right after you brush all of that nasty bacteria out of your mouth...let the make-out session begin!