The truth is that "life" happens to us all. The difference isn't WHAT happens to us as much as it is HOW we handle it all, as it comes our way...
The bigger truth is that the more successful people have mastered the mind and learned to think, feel and "act" independent of circumstances and stay strong, "truck through" and "stay on track" despite what's happening around them, or even "to" them.
Here's some things I've discovered that truly successful people wake up and tell themselves, or other people.
1. Good morning.
Did you know that happy people say "good morning" more often than unhappy people? Do you ever say "good morning", out loud? Try it, not just to people in your home, but as often as you can once you leave the house!
Saying "good morning", out loud, to as many people as possible, creates positive energy... and what better way to start your day than through spreading positive energy. LIFE is an echo. What we put out, we all get back.
2. I own today!
When did we lose sight of the fact that we are in control? Why have we convinced ourselves it's easier to be a victim in life? Stop pretending like you keep falling into bad days...when the truth is that you keep CHOOSING to have bad days!
Sure, you have no control over what happens to you, but you have 100%, absolute control over how you respond to it. You get to choose whether or not it puts you in a bad mood or good mood. So, just choose better! YOU own today!
3. Everything works together for my good.
Successful people have an innate belief that the universe is conspiring FOR them, not against them. They believe wholeheartedly that all things work together for their good. Thoughts become things...thoughts become things...
Successful people believe in the law of attraction...what are you attracting?
4. Thank you!
The truth is that those who say "thank you" will always have the most to say thank you for. When I was depressed and lonely and in a very dark place, one of the first things I did to pull myself up was I started to say "thank you" as much as I could, for anything I could think to say "thank you" for. AND it's true...it is a FACT of life that the universe opened up to me and gave me more and more and more things to say thank you for. It was so cool to see it unfolding for me...so I pass along this miracle of life the echos for us all.
Say thank you, live in gratitude and your life will open up in ways you never thought imaginable.
5. You're incredible, how can I help you?
I am pretty sure this is not coincidental that truly successful human beings in life seem to praise others, a lot, AND try and help others too. Successful people aren't selfish by nature. They are kind and helpful.
The best way to get what you want in life is to help others get what they need.
So today instead of thinking about what all is about to "happen to you", think instead of how you are about to take control over it all and make it your own!
Good morning to me. Today is my day. Today I'm going to learn something I haven't learned before. I'm going to choose to let things happen around me, without changing what happens inside of me. Today I'm going to let the chips fall where they may, and know it's all working together for my good. Thank you for that. Today I'm going to help someone. I'm going to spread so much love and joy that I will collect as many "thank you's" as I can all day long. Today is going to be amazing...and even though a bunch of stuff will happen that will try and change my mind, or get me off track...it will NOT change, because I'm in control. I'm so freaking excited about this day I'm about to have. New adventures...thoughts become things...THANK YOU!
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I was totally depressed and lost in this world. I couldn't seem to catch a break. I was living in fear, constantly worried and only felt extreme doubt. I lost my career. My marriage was ending. I was devastated and heartbroken over the loss of my brother that just died. I was disconnected from the kids. I was only going through the physical motions of life...I was on a downward spiral and hope was fading into darkness.
And then...one day, I woke up and decided to change.
One and a half years ago I was 40 pounds overweight, depressed, lost and completely lonely and hopeless. I didn't even have Facebook friends, much less "real life friends". I was running out of money and time; and depression was rolling in like a ominous storm hovering over my life.
NOW, I have a new company, a new life and a whole new following that all came about because I made a pact with myself to follow these 8 simple rules here.
This is how I went from "poverty" to endless "possibilities"...from 33 social media friends to over 60,000 followers, in a single year. How I went from no one even knowing I had a written a blog to now over 2 million faithful and loyal readers? How I went from "everything is falling apart" to "everything is falling into place". How I went from lost to found, and hopeless to hopeful. How I went from #mylifesucks to #blessedbeyondmeasure
THIS IS HOW. I followed these 8 simple steps...and didn't skip a beat! If you are serious about changing your life. If you are serious about wanting something MORE for yourself. If you are serious about needing to get out of this RUT that you are in...you will do these things.
Otherwise, you'll wake up ten years from in the life you're living today...and nothing will change for you!
HOW I CHANGED MY LIFE IN 8 SIMPLE STEPS
1. The first thing I did was take a little inventory over who was in my life and immediately got rid of 99% of them.
This is the most important step because it sets the tone for true "movement" and "change" and "growth". If you're not serious, you'll skip this step, if you ARE serious, you'll be more than happy to make room for some more positive people around you. You have limited space in your life for others...the five closest people to you are the ones you'll be most influenced by. It's honestly better to have no one, then anyone that's negative...and let me tell you that the people in your life that are ALLOWING you to live how you're living may not be "saying" negative things, but the very fact that they're "allowing" you to continue like this makes them a negative influence, whether you realize it or not. GET rid of them!
When you finally make the decision to CHANGE you only want people around you that can lift you up, pick you up and hold you up. At this stage...if they're not helping, they're hurting. There is NO exception to this rule and it VERY MUCH includes family!
2. Next, I took ownership over the fact that my life is only going to be exactly what I make of it...no one is going to suddenly appear and fix it all for me.
People spend their crappy lives waiting for some miracle to walk in their front door and just change everything with a magic wand. It's not going to happen. YOU are the only person in control of your life and control of the direction its headed. If you're waiting for someone to change you, you'll die being the person you are now and in the life you're living today. NO ONE will change your life but you!
3. Next, I reconnected with God and started a spiritual journey where I placed most of my focus and energy.
Most of you know how I feel about this...let go of all of that religious crap you've been taught and connect with GOD on a deeper, spiritual, MORE PERSONAL level! You want to know how to connect with God on a spiritual level? Question everything you've been taught through religion. Open up your mind and heart and just PAY attention to all of the lessons around you! You don't need a priest, a rabbi, a preacher, or some self-proclaimed "holy man" to be your voice for you or your bridge to God.
I read the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, The Four Agreements and watched the movie The Secret, to kick start my spiritual journey! I suggest you do these three things as well!
4. Next...no matter how slow or fast I went...I swore that I would only move in a forward motion, never looking back. Past is gone, learn the lessons and move forward.
As long as your movement is forward, it's all good. Some days are going to mean more than others...but every day will count if you're only moving in a forward motion. Anytime you start to recognize past behavior, stop it immediately and be the person you're wanting to be. Eventually the surface of you will become the depth of you and you won't even recognize yourself, or your life.
You'll start to see change most through retrospective vision...meaning you'll start to look back and realize you are NOWHERE near where you used to be in life. It's a very cool feeling and it turbo charges your forward movement.
5. Next, got rid of all of the possibility poverty titles I had given myself "I'm not good enough, I don't have enough, I can't, I'm not talented enough, I don't know enough"....
The agreements we make with ourselves are what shapes our lives.
What we tell ourselves is the most important part of our lives. You are exactly what you believe you are going to be. Whatever agreements you make with yourself; those agreements are truth! If you tell yourself that you're not enough, you WON'T be enough. If you tell yourself that you're a failure, you will be a failure! If you tell yourself that people only use you, people will only use you. If you tell yourself that everyone is out to get you and hurt you and only bad things happen to you, that'll all be true too!
6. And I only spoke positive things over myself and my life to the point of sounding crazy...
Start telling yourself different things....this is your story...NEVER FORGET that it is YOURS to write!
The agreements we make with ourselves ARE all true. The cool thing is, they're ours to make! So change what it is that you're speaking over your own life!
I seriously started bragging about how everything I did turned to gold and you know what happened? Before long, everything I did started turning to gold. I started telling people that it seemed like I had "favor" with God...and you know what happened; people (strangers) would tell that back to me....someone actually wrote on my FB page "I swear you have favor with God"...seriously! I started telling myself that I was talented beyond measure and creative and without even asking for it, things would fall into my lap...and guess what started happening...
This is your story to write...tell yourself whatever you want. BECAUSE those agreements that you choose to make with yourself are the ones that are all true!
7. Next, I made a list of all of the things in my life that I am extremely grateful for and started saying "thank you" for all of them, out loud...I said thank you for anything and everything I could. I would drive through green lights and say "thank you" out loud. THANK YOU became part of my every day vernacular.
I say it daily, "those who say thank you, have the most to say thank you for". There is nothing that brings about more abundance in life than gratitude!
Gratitude is the vehicle that brings about blessings. Say thank you, every single day, all day long for anything and everything you could possibly say thank you for and watch your life change instantly around you!
THIS is the law of attraction...when you are saying thank you, the universe is opening up and wanting to offer you more things to say thank you for! TRUST ME on this one. I live in a constant state of gratitude!
8. And then...I made a dream board. I wrote down short term and long term goals and would put on my headphones, every single day, (still do this) listen to music that I can feel in my soul...and imagine myself living in the life I want to be living.
And every single day that I do this, I say thank you...not because I have it but because I know it is Gods great pleasure to give it to me. All in good time....
The law of attraction doesn't need you to understand it or believe in it in order for it to work. Whether you realize it or not YOUR THOUGHTS are BECOMING YOUR THINGS. Thoughts lead to feelings which is energy which pulls everything back in around you and life is an echo!
What you're thinking about...is what you're bringing about. Make a dream board and stay focused!
Life is your choice. This is your moment.
You weren't created to be depressed and sad. You didn't survive all that you have survived in life just so you could be alone and hurting and hopeless. There is a purpose to your life that only you can find. It will start by stepping out of your comfort zone and following your passions in life.
I don't remember the exact moment my life turned around because I was so focused on spiritual growth that I can't recall...it's funny how day by day nothing seems to change but you look back and everything is different. All I know now is that I seriously don't even recognize the woman I used to be...and thank GOD (literally) for that!
It's hard to think and feel independent of what's happening around us but figuring out how to do that is the first step in changing your life. It's easier said than done but it IS possible!
THIS is what I know...when it rains it pours because the second it started to rain you immediately started worrying it would pour...and therefore, it did.
The second something goes right, you think "omg I'm going to have a great day" and therefore you do.
The minute tragedy happens you get stuck in thought and feeling and more and more tragedy comes about. It IS the law of attraction you need not understand anything more than the simple fact that it exists and is powerful.
Life is your choice and this is your moment. What are you attracting?
THAT is the first question I asked myself on the first day I changed my life.
By Kristy Sinsara
Did this blog speak to you? Perhaps you'll enjoy my book The Forty Life Lessons I Learned Before the Age of Forty will be available in mid April-2014. Check back on Amazon for availability.
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Top Five Reasons Why You Should Only Surround Yourself With Happy, Successful People, by Kristy Sinsara
Before reading this article you should really stop for a moment and consider what it means to you to be "happy" and "successful". Funny thing is that most people say they want both, and spend their lives chasing both, but never even stop to consider what it means to them, personally, to be happy or successful.
Happiness and success are two words that are defined differently by us all. For me, happy people are people that always try and see the good in things around them. Happy people are people that take life's lemons and make EVERYONE lemonade, without any prompting or pushing. Happy people are just...well...HAPPY, smiling, laughing a lot, joking around, easy going, "let the chips fall where they may" kind of folks.
Success to me isn't about money. I've had six figure incomes. I've had prestigious jobs. I've built three separate companies in my lifetime that I've franchised out or sold off. I've been "financially" rewarded yet completely unfulfilled before. Trust me when I tell you that money does NOT buy happiness OR success, or fulfillment or passion....
Success to me means I'm doing what I'm most passionate about in life, and making an acceptable living (by my standards) doing it. I'm most passionate about writing, speaking, and helping others. I'm currently making a living as a writer, a public speaker and a social media consultant, so I'm personally feeling successful!
But I've been at the bottom of this professional ladder I'm currently climbing and I'd like to share with you some things I've noticed along the upward climb!
1. If you don't surround yourself with happy people, you're going to be fighting needless battles.
I'm always trying to explain to people that "thoughts become things"...but really what I mean by this is that thoughts turn into feelings (which is energy) and that energy becomes "things". Happiness is strong energy! Unfortunately, so is negativity and sadness. On my climb up the ladder of success I noticed my "not so happy" friends constantly making little "snide" remarks to me about my success.
The people in my life that aren't happy for me all have one common denominator...they aren't happy with themselves either! Often times they don't realize how deeply unhappy they are, and they don't realize the negative impact they can have on your life...negativity is a very strong energy force...do NOT let it in, especially why you're climbing UP. Just imagine you're trying to climb and there's a negative force trying to push you back...THAT is your negative friends. LET THEM GO. Trust me on this. Some day they will hopefully find happiness on their own, and when they do, you'll be the first person they seek out in life.
It's all good.
2. It makes some people feel "less than" when you are "more than".
It's true. It's just human nature that when you're just happy and talking about all of the things you have, or are getting, or getting to be, or acquiring (if even through extreme hard work and dedication) it only reminds people of what they don't have.
You should surround yourself with people that are successful so that when you are finding success you get to live in a feeling of gratitude more frequently. Surround yourself with people that have MORE than you, as much as you can. Think about how infrequently you brag, when surrounded by "not so successful" friends. Think about the difference in their attitudes back to you.
I have two friends on opposite ends of the spectrum here. One is extremely successful the other is a lonely, bored, negative housewife that sits around and gossips all day.
When the successful friend found out that my book was finally published and available she flipped out with excitement for me. "how can I help you get more sales" - she asked. "I'm so proud of you, what can I do for you, this is incredible"...was her response.
My other friend said "Saw you wrote that book, not sharing with anyone, good for you". Period.
My successful friend is coming from a place of abundance and can live in the moment of gratitude with me...and the other is coming from a place of "lacking" and feels angry over my success, as it's only reminding her of her daily lack of fulfillment. Nothing good will come from making people feel less than, on your end. So you're doing yourself a favor by dropping the negative dead weight!
3. You won't be living in the state of constant gratitude that is required to maintain success IF you do not surround yourself with people you can be grateful around.
Gratitude is the attitude that brings about success. I say it all of the time. Those who say "thank you" have the most to say "thank you" for. It is a FACT in life. Gratitude is what brings about success.
BUT you don't say "thank you" as much as you should when you're not surrounding yourself with people you feel are happy for you. That's just human nature.
MUCH LIKE if you were physically whole and healthy, and in absolute perfect physical condition,...you would NOT brag about, praise constantly, or perhaps even discuss, your current physically awesome, healthy state of being around someone that has cancer, or extremely sick.
You wouldn't say to someone that's sick and dying, "OMG I FEEL SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME TODAY". In fact, the idea of it sounds horrific and MEAN. Think about this. THIS is how you are emotionally too when it comes to success.
We don't praise and say "thank you" and discuss our successes as much (if at all) around those that we know aren't sharing in our good fortune! YET saying "thank you" and "praising" is how we maintain it.
This is a case of "it's not you, it's them". You're just trying to be "considerate" but your consideration in this area will only hurt you more! Drop the negative, dead weight and move on!
4. In order to do something you've never done, you have to become someone you've never been.
Those are Les Brown's words, not mine! I say this all of the time, it's one of the quotes that keeps me strong. In order to be a writer, I must stop caring about what people think about me. In order to be a public speaker I must put myself out there more. In order to be an excellent social media consultant I have to be brutally honest with my business owners I'm working with.
Think about something you want to do in life and realize right now in this very moment that you cannot do it by doing what you've always been doing! In order to do something that you have never done before, you have to become someone you've never been before!
Successful people ALL recognize this CHANGE in you that MUST TAKE PLACE, and unsuccessful people do not! In fact, your unsuccessful friends will begrudge the "change" in you. They will say things to you like "you're not the person you used to be"...they will judge you for changing, not welcome it.
Successful people ALL KNOW that "this change" is a phenomenon that MUST happen within us all! ....Yes there is an obvious change that comes about.
I have personal close friends of mine that, during my change, would say "I know you, you're not capable of this, or you're not the person that can do these things". I would say back to them "I don't accept that, nor do I care for your opinion of me".
UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE will begrudge the morphing and changing and growing that MUST happen within you! Successful people will simply recognize that it is happening and congratulate you and be "strong" for you during this time.
5. Wanting to be successful in life yet refusing to get rid of your negative friends is like a butterfly shedding it's old skin but still choosing to walk among the trapped and caccooned; instead of flying and discovering the world you were meant to live in.
For no other reason other than insecurity and comfort, you are simply choosing to stay among the "un-living". Your old friends, as negative as they may be, at least "know you". I get it. Bad love is better than no love?
WRONG. You can't "grow" and be comfortable at the same time. It's just a fact of life. Part of growing pains is getting rid of the old and making room for the new.
You only have a certain amount of room in your life. Consider this fact and consider whom you're letting occupy your room. If your house is crowded with negative people TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU the positive people walking by see this and assume (a) you're one of them and (b) have no room for them.
Surround yourself with what you want, and you WILL attract it in your own life. It is a fact! You want success, have successful friends. You want to be a happy couple, have happy couple friends. Want to be healthy, surround yourself with healthy people.
This is one of the biggest mistakes people make once their diagnosed with a disease...they suddenly start surrounding themselves with others that are diagnosed with diseases and then wonder why they're falling deeper into a "negative funk". It's a force field. You want to be healthy, surround yourself with healthiness NOT unhealthiness. But you'd rather stay funky and be around other people that are as unhappy as you are so you can justify your negativity. What's the point?
YOU MUST get rid of your negative friends just so you can make room for your positive ones.
Bottom line: Negative people hold you back. You may not even realize this because you think you're above the it all, but you are not. It's time for the purge to happen. It's time for you to go through your life (INCLUDING Facebook) and delete ALL of those friends that you know would NOT be happy for you if you won the lottery tomorrow. Delete all of those friends that refuse to acknowledge your success. Delete all of those friends that you know aren't truly in your corner when it comes to your ultimate success.
Get rid of them all. IF and when they ever find their own happiness, you will be the first person they find.
You know how you can tell whether or not you're a positive or negative person? ONE QUICK RULE. Do people call you with their praise reports or their complaints and gripes in life?
IF you're the person people call when they're happy and great things are happening, this means they see you as a happy, successful person. If you're the one they call when things suck and they're pissed off, this means they see you as angry and negative! Period! It's that simple!
In order to be happy and successful you must surround yourself with people that are also happy and successful. There is no other option! You will NEVER see unequally matched partners in this area have a sustaining relationship....in life or in business. It just doesn't work.
You want happy? BE HAPPY, be around happy. You want success? BE success driven and surround yourself around other successful people.
People pull you up or bring you down. There is no other option!
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