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THE BEST DAY…by Kristy Sinsara
I went to sleep the other night and thought to myself “tomorrow is going to be great”.
But then I woke up the next morning and realized my alarm clock didn’t go off and I started my day out 20 minutes late…and I already don’t give myself enough time in the mornings.
Then our 14 year old just remembered it was picture day and she couldn’t find her form to turn in, nor could she find anything to wear…
So now we have find the time later to drive all the way over to her school just to drop off her form.
I finally make it back home only to discover I had used the last of the coffee yesterday. Oh but wait, my Amazon package is supposed to arrive today, I think there’s coffee in it. A little hope there….just breathe.
I finally sit back down in my studio ready to tackle my amazing day…only to check in with my very first client and find out that that commercial I had spent over 10 hours making a few days ago was way off the mark. And he wanted me to start all over.
And finally when I hang up the phone the phone rings again from an unknown number which I pick up and discover it’s a neighbor from four blocks away saying she has my dog, that’s broken out of my backyard.
Later that afternoon, the doorbell rings and it’s my Amazon package, yay coffee has finally arrived. I need it today. Only to open the package and realize it’s not actually the coffee I ordered. Flavored coffee? Hazelnut?
The kids finally get home from school but I don’t have time to sit and help with homework today. You’re on your own, help each other.
Back to work for me…and I will be here for hours.
So it’s 11pm, the kids are in bed, everyone’s asleep in my house, and I just got finished working.
I finally lay my head down in bed and right before I fall asleep I remember to check my alarm for tomorrow, only to see an old text message I’d missed from earlier today in the middle of all of the chaos that said “I love you so much, thank you for bringing my stuff to school for me”.
And then I thought to myself, as I looked back on my day today….had our 14 year old not forgotten her picture form, we wouldn’t have had to drive over to the school where we accidentally ran into one of her teachers in the hallway that stopped us to tell us what an absolute joy and pleasure she was to have in class, and raved about how much all of the teachers there adored her. What a great thing to hear. I’m so glad we went to her school today.
And that client that wasn’t happy with the original commercial I had spent so much time making, was so impressed with my willingness to start all over just to make him happy, that not only did he order another commercial, he referred three other people to me. Wow!
And what a strange coincidence that the lady that found my dog owns the local gym in our town, wow, she’s going to be a great new client.
And I laid there remembering what it sounded like to listen to the kids earlier doing their homework together, laughing and talking to each other like they used to. It was so awesome to hear. Every parent knows there’s 100 years in between a 14 and a 10 year old. That was just amazing…
And it dawned on me….truly, life really is all about perspective. All of the things I thought went wrong today were actually all of the things that caused me to HAVE the best day ever.
So from now on when something doesn’t go like I think it should, I’m just going to yell, PLOT TWIST…and keep on moving. Thank you! All about perspective, all in a day.
Oh, and I LOVE Hazelnut!
ISSUE NUMBER 1:
I used to drive around forever and ever in store parking lots trying to find THE CLOSEST spot I could find by the door. I would literally spend ten solid minutes out in the parking lot, driving around in my car, stalking all of the people coming out, to try and get that prime location.... JUST to ensure that I wouldn't have to walk any more than absolutely necessary.
One day, while engaged in this act of complete lunacy, my spouse said "WHAT IN the hell are you doing? OMG JUST PARK ALREADY".
What was I doing? Um, I was trying to avoid exercise-OBVIOUSLY! HELLO!
But the question is why? Where did I get this idea that we should park as close to the store door as humanly possible, without actually parking inside the store? I'm not sure, I just know that if you go to any given parking lot in any city, Oklahoma you'll see a great deal of people engaged in this exact same act of lunacy. People in Oklahoma will spend 20 minutes in the parking lot and 5 minutes in the store.
Why are people in Oklahoma scared of exercise, or at least collectively under the understanding that "less movement is better"?
I read not too long ago that Oklahoma is leading our nation in obesity and one of the unhealthiest states in America and I'm sorry to say I wasn't shocked by this statistic. In fact, the second I read it I started thinking about all of the funny idiosyncrasies, and inaccurate thought patterns I picked up from growing up in Oklahoma, that I constantly get made fun of for as an adult.
I'll never forget the first time a friend of mine in California asked me if I wanted to go to the gym. I actually laughed out loud with a very condescending and indignant kind of laugh. I was a size 4 and skinny as a bean pole (at the time)...What a stupid question. "Why would I want, OR NEED, to go to the gym"
"Just to be healthy", he said....
"UM, I"M SKINNY, HEEELLLLOOOO, clearly I'm healthy"!
ISSUE NUMBER 2: Being skinny apparently doesn't mean you're healthy! But in Oklahoma I learned that skinny people are healthy and fat people are not. Period.
This just isn't the truth.
This same friend of mine always tried to get me to eat healthier too. Like weird fruit not found in the Great Plains and weird fish (not found in the lake) and other crap like that...yuck!
If you can't put gravy or ranch on it (or wrap it in bacon), you shouldn't be eating it! That's the rule I grew up with!
Next time we go out to eat, I'll just stick with a salad.
"I'll have the fried chicken salad with extra ranch please...THERE, are you happy, I ordered a salad".
ISSUE NUMBER 3: Apparently not all salads are healthy.
What the hell? It's called A SALAD! The pure definition of a salad is "no calories".
For some reason I had this lunatic idea that as long as it had lettuce "on it" or "in it"- it was healthy. As if the lettuce was some super sonic super food that cancelled out all other calories. That's literally how I treated it!
Same with Subway, I'd order a Cold Cut Combo with extra everything, double stack the cheese, load up on the mayo and then, to cancel out all of the calories from ALL of the shit I just piled on high...add the lettuce to keep it healthy!
My friends used to make so much fun of me...but the ultimate sign that I had no clue how to be healthy was when I turned 33 years old and all of the sudden, out of the blue, I actually started gaining weight for the first time in my life and I was at a loss as to how to lose it. Losing weight is NOT as easy as gaining weight, that's for sure (nor is it as fun). This is going to take some time...
In the meantime, I'll just tan all of my fat to make it look nicer. Hey, tan fat is better than NOT TAN fat! RIGHT?
ISSUE NUMBER 4: Apparently tanning isn't good for you either....it causes skin cancer apparently and makes you look 40 years older than you actually are.
OMG kill me! So I can't drive around looking for the closest parking spot, I can't just be "skinny healthy", I can't just eat any ole' salad I want and now I can't tan? What's next? Let me guess...next you're going to say that I have to call myself a smoker just because I smoke cigarettes when I drink alcohol?
ISSUE NUMBER 5: Apparently smoking at all (even if only when you drink) makes you a smoker. LAME!
This is the other thing I picked up in Oklahoma. As long as you don't buy cigarettes by the carton, you're not REALLY a smoker...and if you're not REALLY a smoker, there's no reason to actually quit.
My friend and I went to the store once and I bought a little pack of cigarettes and he said "I had no idea that you smoked", to which I replied "I don't smoke (don't be dramatic), I just smoke when I'm drinking and since we're going out later...."
He was like "UM...you JUST SAID the words 'I don't smoke, I only smoke when I drink'".
YA, what's the problem?
Apparently to the rest of the world that sentence doesn't make any sense?? LOL Smoking at ALL constitutes calling you a smoker period!
But that's what I learned in Oklahoma? I'm sure there are other states that have adopted all of these delusional ideas about life and health but I'm from Oklahoma so I'll stake the claim there.
How did the rest of the country learn these things and I didn't?
Truly, you never know how unhealthy the state is as a whole until you move to a state where people are more collectively active and healthier.
I'll never forget the first time I moved to California and I went to a park and all of these people were running. I couldn't figure out where they were all going.
My friend explained to me that they were all just "jogging".
Listen, if you see me, running you should run too, because it means that someone's chasing me. THAT'S THE THEORY I've always lived by.
Until I turned 40, which was like a minute ago...now I jog daily on my treadmill, I eat salad without dressing (and fish that wasn't caught in a lake), I haven't smoked (non smoked) in over a year, and I purposefully park as far away from the door at any store just so I can burn the extra calories walking in...
"Healthy" is a state of mind...at least that's where it starts anyways....learn it as young as you can...it makes life easier on the way up!
Oklahoma is great too! It's the only state I've been to where you can go to through the Taco Bueno drive through and tell them you want a "coke" and they'll respond by asking you "which kind"....UM Dr. Pepper please!
Only in Oklahoma is "Coco Cola" NOT a brand of soft drink but a word that MEANS "soft drink". LOL
There's a lot of dynamic contradictions in the state. It's also the only state I've lived in where neighbors mow each other's yards. Ya people are THAT friendly there! But it's also the only state where you might get beat up in the church parking lot for taking up two spaces too (that's just rude).
But seriously there's a lot of things about the state of Oklahoma that I love. The people there are friendlier than anywhere else on earth. The state is gorgeous. And if a tornado isn't barreling through it, the weather is usually great...and it's home to the Oklahoma Sooners...truly the entire state is like one big fat happy family (literally).
But perhaps we can work on being ONE (not so big, not so fat) HAPPY FAMILY in the future?
Just a thought :)
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NO GAY PEOPLE, NO FAT PEOPLE, NO TATTOOS, NO DIVORCED MOMS AND DADS and NOOO INTERRACIAL COUPLES.... what's next Arizona? Something to consider, by Kristy Sinsara
Unless you live under a rock or fail to read or watch the news you've probably heard by now that the Arizona legislatures passed a law last Thursday allowing business owners to discriminate against gay and lesbians, as long as the discrimination is based on their religious ideologies.
To be honest with you, when I first heard about this story I didn't really care. I have always just had this idea that we're all different and we all see life through our own filtered experiences and "to each his own". My family personally purposefully lives in a state where people are more collectively open-minded, compassionate and understanding. That's what we choose for our family. It's a choice for everyone.
And let's be honest, independent "states rights" has been an issue since our civil war. If you don't like your state than move.
Admittedly, the only squeamish moment I had was a selfish personal realization that Tucson is where one of our favorite family resorts is located, and we take our kids there once a year for a mini vacation. Oh well, trip cancelled, plenty of other places to visit outside of Arizona.
But the more I started reading about it and thinking about it the more I started realizing how much bigger of a problem this is than what it seems.
We can fight on the issue of being gay all day, but that's truly secondary to the real issue of what's happening here.
The issue is that if we're going to allow the separation of Church and State to be thrown out of the window for certain "intolerances" then does it stand to reason that the discrimination that's being allowed will go beyond the gay and lesbian community? Intolerance is intolerance. I am truly afraid of religious zealots that are given permission to use the Bible as a platform for hate.
As a Christian, I would be offended by this message of intolerance and lack of true understanding of God's word. But as a kind and compassionate human being I'm far more concerned with the repercussions this may have in the long run on other groups out there.
Let's be honest here for arguments sake. There are far more verses in the Bible warning against gluttony! In fact GLUTTONY is one of the seven deadly sins. Is it okay then to have a sign in the window that says "no fat people allowed"? What's next?
There are far more verses in the bible against divorce than homosexuality. Are we okay to assume that the next line of discrimination will be against single moms and dads too? Are we considering what's next? Or how about the fact that the Bible is also against tattoos? Will there soon be signs that say "have a tat, don't bother coming inside". What's next? Or more closely related the bible speaks vehemently against interracial marriage. So if a black man and a white woman and their beautiful mixed children walk into the establishment the owner can say "get the hell out of here, MY GOD doesn't like you"? Is this okay? And will ALL of these things be supported by the Arizona government? Where will this discrimination end? WHAT IS NEXT???? THIS is what we should be asking ourselves!
Our level of intolerance is reaching a level of intolerance in itself.
I've said it before and I'll continue to say it. I find the fight for gay rights amusing in that it is resembling the exact same arguments for and against civil rights in America for Black Americans. The red states are fighting hard against recognizing their most basic civil rights and when forced to do so by the Federal Government they are coming up with something that parallels a "separate but equal" clause.
Listen to me. This is only a matter of history. If you're on the wrong side of history than congratulations, you'll get to tell your grandkids someday you fought hard against equality and love.
In the meantime, to the owner of the pizzeria that wants to spread more distention and hate in an already divided world...you're not even being unique with your judgment. You're not the first to use your religion to hide behind your racism, bigotry and fears and unfortunately you won't be the last.
But what we can all be thankful for collectively is that you're having to use these extreme measures to try and get attention because people like you are a dying breed. Scream and yell and kick all the way down...your hate will not win this war.
It's okay that your religion disagrees with the fact that I'm married to a woman. My religion disagrees with the fact that you're so judgmental, to each his own. Your religion justifies your judgment, mine calls it "wrong". You're raising your kids to "be aware" of families like mine? Trust me, we're warning our children about people like you too, every single day.
When your kids grow up, our kids will teach them about what true love, acceptance and compassion looks like because that's what we're actually TEACHING our kids.
In the meantime, you just keep preaching, thankfully the world is growing tired of your small minded views!
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STOP WASTING YOUR TIME ON THE WRONG PERSON ...how long can you wait for never? A blog for all daters...by Kristy Sinsara
You've probably known all along that "this" isn't "the person" for you...but your desire to not be alone overrides your desire to be realistic, more often than not, and here you are in the exact same boat again.
You know, in your heart, that this is not going to work out in the long run but it's okay for now, isn't it???
The truth is that I spent years making excuses for people, including myself, when I knew I was getting into relationships with people I shouldn't. I had an uncanny ability to ignore major red flags and dismiss the 98% of things that weren't compatible. 2% of HOPE weighs more than 98% of FEAR. That's what I learned when I was single.
Often in life our "wants" masquerade as "needs" and we feel like we can't live without certain things..and THAT feeling causes us to feel "stuck"....and then we play the "at least" game. "At least I have someone to come home to", "at least I'm not lonely", "at least they do this or that", blah blah blah.
The truth is that every single day that you're with the wrong person is just another day you're NOT with the RIGHT PERSON!
I look back and realize how many wasted years I spent on trying to make it work with the wrong people and all along I could have just been focused on ME and working on ME! It sucks that when I finally met "my person" I wasn't ready for it completely because I had wasted so much valuable time on others.
Imagine your "person" you want to meet in your head. Does your life look like you want it to look if you were to meet them today? DO YOU look like you want to look? Are you the person you want to be?
Stop making excuses and stop wasting time. This is YOUR TIME you should be completely and solely focused on you and only you!
So stop making lists of "why's" and "why not's". Stop making a list of reasons to leave or stay. If you're making a list at all the truth is that you already know the answer! BUT again, 2% of hope weighs more than 98% of fear...at least they're "SOME"ONE, even if not "THE ONE".
You need permission? You need a sign from God? Well here...there are NO COINCIDENCES IN THIS LIFE...the fact that you're reading this is odd enough isn't it? I mean I'm a random blogger that lives in the Pacific Northwest...and you're you...living wherever you live and we will probably never meet but here you are reading these words I'm writing (for a reason)!
I give you permission, I'm telling you to walk away and go work on you! Make this a pivotal moment in your life where you read some random blog and it just "hit you" and you changed your life forever!
Don't waste anymore time on the wrong person...the right person is out there...waiting! How on earth would they even recognize you if you're stuck behind someone else? Go get'um tiger ;)
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The idea of dating sounds so fun to most married people. Most of us have this fantasy idea that you're out living this carefree, obligation free, duty free, responsibility free, super fun life...meeting new people here and there and just jet setting around the world, going from one wild and fun adventure to the next.
We all know that's rarely (if ever) the case. Just like all of you single people imagine that being married is going to look like your favorite romance movie. Ya...okay...let me know how that works out for ya. Blah Blah Blah, perhaps we're all just a little nuts.
We have a lot of single friends and listen to their dating stories ALL of the time. I told one friend, that finds most of her dates on match.com, that she needs to start a dating blog and write about all of her experiences. Her stories are freaking hilarious....like slap your knee, laugh out loud, jaw dropping comedy!
Anytime she goes out with someone from "Match" I demand that she tells me all of the juicy details...it's always pure comedy. One guy asked if they could split the check, and then asked if she could front him his half of the bill lolol (omg). One guy asked in the middle of dinner if he would be getting laid later? One guy started crying.
But then on the flip side, even though she's super fun, really pretty and very financially stable...she's NEEDY and comes across needy on every date and men pick up on this immediately...and always get scared away. I tell her all of the time she has to hide her "crazy" until at least date 5, lol but she can't resist.
She just that cra cra lol
WHICH LEADS TO THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG: VERY FEW PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO DATE.
I didn't get married until I was 34 so I got the single thing down and the dating scene figured out. Here's some tips for ya that I learned along the way!
1. If you're feeling desperate to get married (or settle down), you're a bad dater!
This was me at first. I wanted to settle down so bad that I was constantly trying to fit square pegs into round holes. I had an uncanny ability to disregard people's weirdness, or our extreme differences, and dismiss the idea that 98% of things didn't fit...that 2% was enough for me because the end all goal was just "being with someone".
The problem with this is that it causes many wasted months or years on the wrong person. The truth is that every day you spend with the wrong person is just one more day you won't be spending with the right one.
If your end goal is marriage, you're probably doing what I did and trying to push things to fit. Listen to me, when it fits, it fits! If it works, it works naturally. There is a level of things just "falling into place" that happens when you have found "your person".
Desperate people do desperate things. You cannot be dating and feel desperate, it only leads to bad decisions!
We often see people for who we want them to be and not for who they are. Be honest with yourself.
2. If you don't know how to turn people down correctly, you're a bad dater.
If you don't know how to be honest with a stranger, you probably don't know how to be honest with yourself and therefore incapable of being honest with your future spouse and ultimately not ready for marriage anyways.
Stop putting up with shit RIGHT NOW. If I were on a date (like my friend) and some dude asked me if I could "cover his bill", I would instantly walk over to the waitress, pay for my half and leave! If I were on a date and some guy asked "whens the sex"....answer is a resounding NEVER, walk away.
Someone told me that during dinner her date asked her if she wanted to go back to his apartment and play video games? WTH. They're both in their 40's.
See, this is the problem. The answer to this is "you can't be serious, you're in your 40's and you think a way to "court me" is through video games? That alone tells me everything I need to know about you". WALK AWAY.
Women and men both need to learn how to instantly recognize when someone ISN'T for them and learn to be honest and walk away. NOT MEAN, just honest!
But my friend didn't want to seem like "she wasn't fun, so she did...and it was childish, boring and awkward". She had to lie about a friend "needing her all of the sudden" to get our of there. Listen to me, it's okay to seem "not fun" if what you're doing isn't fun! Don't be bullied on a date into doing something you don't want to do. Be honest.
"Honestly, I'm not totally into video games, that's cool that you are, I'm going to go ahead and go home." That's your response. It's decisive and tells someone "I know what I want in life...and...THIS isn't it".
3. If you talk about any of your exes on your first date, you're a bad dater (and probably not ready to be dating at all).
It's okay to talk about your dating experiences if they're funny stories but talking about long term relationship exes and sharing passionate anger or sadness is weird and awkward and "please stop talking".
If you're on date 1-3 and anyone brings up an ex more than once, LEAVE! They're not ready to be dating you, you're the rebound, they're just trying to clear their mind and using you as the pawn to do it.
Walk away! Don't waste another second of your life!
4. If you're holding out for that "perfect" person and you're not "perfect" yourself, you're a bad dater (and a little nuts).
You attract who you are and what you have to offer.
It's so funny to me how all of these ditzy, dingy women wish they had some handsome, wildly successful, intelligent, cultivated man to share their lives with. You're going to get back something that's tantamount to who you are or what you have to offer, period! There's rarely exceptions to this rule!
Men that are successful but dumb, want women that are submissive and uneducated. Men that are wildly successful in their own right, cultivated and intelligent are looking for their equal match.
Not all successful people demand to be with someone else that's equally successful, that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying you still have something equally valuable to bring to the table! He's a CEO and you're a gorgeous woman that knows how to have and raise kids, keep a house in order and manage a family, those are ALL equal jobs!
She owns her own successful business and, sure, you don't BUT you're financially stable, maybe own your own home (or at least have one that you keep clean), have stable friends and a stable job and life and like to bring out the fun in people....she will appreciate the value you bring into the relationship.
My wife is as equally stable as I am fun. We have very little traits that are exactly alike but we are evenly matched up in all ways.
Listen to me women: A good man is looking to see what you have to bring to the table...it doesn't have to be matched by his abilities, talents or successes, it just needs to be equally valuable!
The moral to the story is that you should BE who you want to BE WITH!
You can't be out of shape and lazy and expect to attract some totally healthy, gorgeous man. If he clearly cares about how he looks, he cares about how you look too.
You don't have to be college educated but you can't be stupid and uninformed in the world and expect to attract some Rhodes scholar, not going to happen, ever!
You can't be needy and expect to attract someone that's stable.
You can't be angry and expect to attract someone that's peaceful and happy.
You can't be mentally unstable and emotionally wrecked and expect to attract someone that's calm, collected and well put together.
Shall I go on...? You get it right?
5. If you're having sex before monogamy, you're a bad dater!
Let's be honest, most men are just looking for any ole garage to park their cars in. If you're a woman and you just met the man of your dreams and you think that "giving it up for him" is what's going to keep him, YOU COULDN'T BE ANY FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH.
Men aren't looking to marry their whores. Sounds harsh, I know, but it's true. They're looking for someone that challenges them. THEY ARE ALL HUNTERS! There are very few exceptions to this rule! MEN. ARE. HUNTERS.
It's also the crux of our book that's coming out this summer, "How To Catch and Keep A Worthy Man".
Yes, they'll rarely (if ever) dismiss your sexual advances but the minute you give it up, they've conquered you! And if they've conquered you without so much as the slightest challenge...."NEXT NEXT NEXT" is what they're thinking!
I sat at a bar once and heard this chick say "I don't know what his problem is, he calls me and wants me to come over for sex and I do, every time. I even do his laundry afterwards for him and clean his house and he will NOT commit to me".
OMG OMG OMG Do you really think it makes him like you more that you dropped everything for sex with him? NO, it makes him USE YOU MORE, NOT LIKE YOU MORE...know the difference.
The woman that this man ends up marrying will be the first woman that says "you can't be serious...after your laundry is done and your house is clean call me, I'll think about it then". THIS woman is the challenge he is looking for.
SO you have to decide are you going to be the sex slave or the respected wife? Truly the decision is ALL yours!
On the flip side, most women are also looking for a challenge to now. It's one of the things that made me fall madly in love with my spouse. It was one of the biggest challenges of my life. Truly only crazy needy people are looking for someone to instantly drool all over them, all day every day. Are you crazy?
Loneliness is a strong feeling...but you know what a stronger feeling is? REGRET!
The truth is that the people that have the most successful relationships are the people that ended up finding each other when they least expected it. That's ultimately what ended up happening to me.
I finally said "I'm sick of dating and I'm going to focus on me and only me". And I did just that, and worked on my career, traveled with friends, felt happy to be single...and then in the middle of all of that wholeness and happiness and fun; I met my wife!
Take a quick inventory of your life right now; are you truly ready to meet your spouse right now?
JUST THINK ABOUT THAT. If your "person" that's out there waiting for you, walked into your life today, would you be embarrassed, (wishing you had worked on yourself and your life a little more) or would be happy and ready for love?
Not being ready to meet your spouse is often times what leads to separation and divorce even if you DO end up meeting them. They won't make you whole, they'll fill the void of loneliness but they won't make you any happier than you're capable of on your own.
One day, you're going to be at a dinner party and a friend of a friends will be invited, someone you've never heard of or knew of before, and you two will catch eyes, lock into each other's radars and you'll know in a moment's notice that THERE is your person. There they are...
BE READY for this moment. Don't PUSH it, don't force it, don't pretend it's happening when it's not. Don't act desperate for it, don't be fixated on it. Just know it's going to happen and in the meantime, it's ALL ABOUT YOU!
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By the way, I just saw this guy on TV discussing sex and women -
He's with a sex/dating therapist on Bravo TV talking about women.
5 second explanation of how MOST men feel. He is the RULE here ladies!!
He admits he would NOT marry a woman that gave him sex on the first 1-6 dates BUT he's still always going to try and push for it! Now that, is honesty!
I'm not going to lie, sometimes I scroll through my newsfeed on Facebook and an overwhelming desire to be honest with people overcomes me. When I see something ridiculous, ignorant or just plain stupid I actually sit there and weigh the pros and cons of telling someone the truth.
I really want to tell them how stupid they are but I fear their wrath or perhaps I want to be honest about an opinion but I don't really want to get into a full blown debate on the issue. I think I may spend more time considering what I may or may not do rather than doing anything at all. Am I alone with this? I have no clue.
My Facebook page is a microcosm of the United States as a whole. I have a lot of diverse friends so it causes a lot of randomness to pop up daily. It also causes a lot of arguing to take place. I can post the most benign statement and someone somewhere will argue against me. One time I posted that I was ready for winter to be over and people actually argued with me. How can you even argue how I feel about winter? And more importantly WHY would you?
Regardless, I have contemplated the things that ultimately makes me draw the conclusion that someone in certifiably nuts. So instead of having to tell anyone individually that I think they're crazy, maybe I'll get lucky and they'll just read this blog and come to the conclusion on their own.
How I know you're crazy...here's the top five things that jump out at me online.
1. When you bitch at random people...
An example of this is, earlier on my page I actually saw a post come across my newsfeed that said "stop reading my facebook you stupid bitch, no one gives a shit about your opinion". Um, heavy!
I don't actually know who this person is, much less to whom they're referencing. For the purposes of this blog, I decided to investigate and clicked on the post. Apparently they were fighting with one of their boyfriends exes. Classy!
When you berate people randomly, we not only think you're trashy, we also start to measure the depth of your craziness. Oh and for the record, I personally make a mental note to not engage with you ever. Please, STOP bitching at random people. Instead just do what we all do and delete and ban someone that makes you so angry you want to get all "white trash on their ass". Give it up. Delete, ban, grow up, move on. Publicly fighting with someone on Facebook just makes you look trashy. Seriously! There is NO exception to this, ever!
2. When you post physical wounds...
First of all, EW. Second, I'd like to be your friend that tells you on behalf of all of your other friends that we really truly do not give a shit about your inverted toe nail or your bruise or your bloody finger. I don't even want to elaborate. Just stop. It's gross. Seriously, unless you have a medical miracle that will blow our minds, please just stop being gross.
3. When you post every single mother freaking meal you make.
Seriously? And on top of letting us know what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner...you're not even making shit that's impressive. My 11 year old can make biscuits and gravy, a turkey sandwich and hamburger helper. Post shit that makes us wonder if you went to culinary school. You want to impress me? Post some recipe you found on Pinterest and then the final picture that looks JUST LIKE the picture you found. Now that shit is impressive!
However, posting random shit like nachos, when all you did is put Tostitos on a plate and spread grated cheese around and threw that shit in the microwave not only makes me realize how uncreative you are, it also makes me realize how bored you are. I mean at least put some shredded beef and jalapenos on there for me too. Actually scratch that. No one gives a shit. Moving on...
4. When you post half naked pictures of yourself.
For the love of God we get it. You lost 200 pounds, we're impressed. A few pictures in moderation to show off your new impressive body is awesome. Posting half naked pictures of yourself in different bikinis and laying around on your bed is only making me question what you do for a living.
No one actually believes you're suddenly a model. Come on now. Those aint modeling gigs you're Instagramming. And the hundreds of men that comment on those photos are all the same men that have had every STD under the sun. They never care where they park their cars...no matter how creepy the garage looks.
5. When you talk about how f*kn terrible, awful and what a lame ass shi*t head your ex is.
Listen we all have relationships we're glad to no longer be a part of. But when you verbally brutalize your ex publicly online we all really think that THEY'RE the ones that dodged the bullet, not you. When I see people just annihilating their exes I instantly put them in the crazy category. NO ONE sane would do this. NO ONE!
MORE IMPORTANTLY no one sane would blast their "current" spouses or partners either. Listen, I've gotten really pissed at my wife before....like REALLY pissed...and it never dawned on me to go to Facebook and tell anyone what a total douche bag she's being. NEVER ONCE did it cross my mind. Okay, it just did, just now, but that was it.
Plus, we don't care. No one, no matter how much they pretend, actually gives a shit. And we all just think you're white trash for wanting to air your marital problems in a public forum. Go read my Rules to Marriage. THAT'S NOT COOL anyways!
BOTTOM LINE...I know social media is fun. Hell, I blog about everything from politics to my marriage to the Pope to which way the toilet paper should be facing on the roll...but there are still rules that we all instinctually live by. Just be socially graceful. Incorporate some average social skills into your posts.
Stop posting that your day f*kn blows at 9am...we just assume your nuts. I mean hell, you've given up on your day before I've even had a chance to hit my "snooze" button. How about instead start talking about how maybe it started out "not so great" but you took the bull by the horns and steered that sucker in the right direction! Then we can all be proud to know you! Well...proud to "Facebook" know you anyways...
Leave the dialogue about that white trash ex of your exes in your head for your own voices to argue about. Leave a tiny bit of class on the social media table.
And here's the best tip of all....if you really want to post things that are inappropriate, do it through Pinterest posters. That way you didn't "really" say it, you're just "reposting" and then we dont' think you're trashy, we just think you're funny!
And that's how you get away with being trashy, wrong and totally inappropriate....through Pinterest, not Facebook ; 0.
I want to be your friend, truly, I do...I like that you're crazy...it adds a little spice to my life...but you got to check a "tad bit" of your "crazy" at the social media door, please!