My husband has spent the past 13 years of our relationship without technology. He barely remembers where he puts his cell phone and forgets it half the time before leaving for work. He's never had a Facebook page and basically thinks social media is for "girls". And then all of the sudden he's started working late and not coming home for dinner, working extra on the weekends (which he has never done before) and gone for hours and hours at a time, and not only does he not ever lose his cell phone, it's usually in his hands most of the time, including when we're watching tv or having dinner. I looked at it a few days ago and there's a passcode on it, which he has also never had before. When I asked him why he put a passcode on it he said it's because he doesn't want our daughter getting into his phone. She's 2. In my heart I think there is something going on. I can't bare to ask my friends or family what they think because what if he's not and now I've put this doubt in their heads about him. Any advice?
Is he cheating? Probably...in some way or another. (OR at least considering it, flirting with the idea of it, or just flirting inappropriate period).
There's never a change in behavior without a change in circumstance. NOBODY changes behavior for absolutely no reason at all.
HOW TO HANDLE:
Tell him you feel really uneasy about this and need to be assured there's nothing going on. Be HONEST with him. IF HE IS NOT CHEATING he will lovingly be willing to explain his behavior...if he is, he'll get defensive, call you names, say you're bring crazy, and be as dismissive as possible.
By the way, if he is defensive and refuses to help you through this process...RUN.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR SPOUSE IS CHEATING ON YOU.
1. Change of behavior
2. Suddenly needs to "work late"
3. Suddenly needs "alone time"
4. Has a new password on phone
5. Keeps personal things on lockdown
6. Growing distant emotionally, mentally or sexually
7. Has a new message app on their phone (this is probably the biggest red flag)
8. Suddenly carries a tooth brush and mouthwash and cologne everywhere
9. Says they're going somewhere and ends up somewhere else (often)
10. Speaks in code, and/or refuses to speak to someone in front of you.