MAD IN THE MORNING
Dear Kristy, this is probably the weirdest question you've ever been asked but how do I tell my husband that I want him to stop trying to kiss me in the morning, before he brushes and uses mouthwash? He is so sweet, and so affectionate, and I love that he wants to kiss me but first thing in the morning when he has the worst morning breath. I mean it is is just awful! I don't want to hurt his feelings. How do I approach this?
Dear Mad in the Morning: First of all, EW. That's freaking nasty. Anyone with any degree of intelligence understands the bacteria that is built up in our mouths overnight and all of the reasons we have morning breath. That's just gross. Honestly, I think it's mean that your husband isn't considerate enough to brush his teeth for you first. So, first of all, stop feeling bad. You are the victim here!
I'm assuming you're asking me because your husband is sensitive? What am I saying? Of course he's "sensitive"...he wants to cuddle and love on your first thing in the morning. His morning breath however has become a deterrent to cuddle time...You have two options to choose from.
Option #1: the "sensitive" approach.
Take the blame off of him and put it more on you. I would say: "love muffin, I love LOVE (emphasis) that you want to cuddle and love on me in the morning but I never really want to make sure my breath is nice and fresh. I'm always worried that I have "morning breath" and I want to make sure that I'm brushed and clean before we start our make-out session. I seriously feel uncomfortable even kissing you because I'm so worried about my breath. I want to wake up to you every morning of my life to your kisses...but not until we have fresh breath"! ;)
Option #2: the "direct" approach.
Okay look, it's really sweet that you want to "make-out" with me first thing in the morning...but honestly your breath is so rank I can't even take it anymore. It's foul. Your morning breath makes me want to sleep in the next room. I'm so afraid that you're going to try and kiss me before you've brushed your teeth that I often try and slip out of bed, as stealth like as possible, straight up MI2 style, just so I don't wake you. It's sweet that you're so sweet...I wouldn't want it another way, but the truth is that all of the sweetness goes out the window the minute I smell your breath. It's selfish of you not to want to be clean and fresh for me. Want to wake up and kiss me? GREAT! Right after you brush all of that nasty bacteria out of your mouth...let the make-out session begin!