Top Five Reasons Why You Should Only Surround Yourself With Happy, Successful People, by Kristy Sinsara
Before reading this article you should really stop for a moment and consider what it means to you to be "happy" and "successful". Funny thing is that most people say they want both, and spend their lives chasing both, but never even stop to consider what it means to them, personally, to be happy or successful.
Happiness and success are two words that are defined differently by us all. For me, happy people are people that always try and see the good in things around them. Happy people are people that take life's lemons and make EVERYONE lemonade, without any prompting or pushing. Happy people are just...well...HAPPY, smiling, laughing a lot, joking around, easy going, "let the chips fall where they may" kind of folks.
Success to me isn't about money. I've had six figure incomes. I've had prestigious jobs. I've built three separate companies in my lifetime that I've franchised out or sold off. I've been "financially" rewarded yet completely unfulfilled before. Trust me when I tell you that money does NOT buy happiness OR success, or fulfillment or passion....
Success to me means I'm doing what I'm most passionate about in life, and making an acceptable living (by my standards) doing it. I'm most passionate about writing, speaking, and helping others. I'm currently making a living as a writer, a public speaker and a social media consultant, so I'm personally feeling successful!
But I've been at the bottom of this professional ladder I'm currently climbing and I'd like to share with you some things I've noticed along the upward climb!
1. If you don't surround yourself with happy people, you're going to be fighting needless battles.
I'm always trying to explain to people that "thoughts become things"...but really what I mean by this is that thoughts turn into feelings (which is energy) and that energy becomes "things". Happiness is strong energy! Unfortunately, so is negativity and sadness. On my climb up the ladder of success I noticed my "not so happy" friends constantly making little "snide" remarks to me about my success.
The people in my life that aren't happy for me all have one common denominator...they aren't happy with themselves either! Often times they don't realize how deeply unhappy they are, and they don't realize the negative impact they can have on your life...negativity is a very strong energy force...do NOT let it in, especially why you're climbing UP. Just imagine you're trying to climb and there's a negative force trying to push you back...THAT is your negative friends. LET THEM GO. Trust me on this. Some day they will hopefully find happiness on their own, and when they do, you'll be the first person they seek out in life.
It's all good.
2. It makes some people feel "less than" when you are "more than".
It's true. It's just human nature that when you're just happy and talking about all of the things you have, or are getting, or getting to be, or acquiring (if even through extreme hard work and dedication) it only reminds people of what they don't have.
You should surround yourself with people that are successful so that when you are finding success you get to live in a feeling of gratitude more frequently. Surround yourself with people that have MORE than you, as much as you can. Think about how infrequently you brag, when surrounded by "not so successful" friends. Think about the difference in their attitudes back to you.
I have two friends on opposite ends of the spectrum here. One is extremely successful the other is a lonely, bored, negative housewife that sits around and gossips all day.
When the successful friend found out that my book was finally published and available she flipped out with excitement for me. "how can I help you get more sales" - she asked. "I'm so proud of you, what can I do for you, this is incredible"...was her response.
My other friend said "Saw you wrote that book, not sharing with anyone, good for you". Period.
My successful friend is coming from a place of abundance and can live in the moment of gratitude with me...and the other is coming from a place of "lacking" and feels angry over my success, as it's only reminding her of her daily lack of fulfillment. Nothing good will come from making people feel less than, on your end. So you're doing yourself a favor by dropping the negative dead weight!
3. You won't be living in the state of constant gratitude that is required to maintain success IF you do not surround yourself with people you can be grateful around.
Gratitude is the attitude that brings about success. I say it all of the time. Those who say "thank you" have the most to say "thank you" for. It is a FACT in life. Gratitude is what brings about success.
BUT you don't say "thank you" as much as you should when you're not surrounding yourself with people you feel are happy for you. That's just human nature.
MUCH LIKE if you were physically whole and healthy, and in absolute perfect physical condition,...you would NOT brag about, praise constantly, or perhaps even discuss, your current physically awesome, healthy state of being around someone that has cancer, or extremely sick.
You wouldn't say to someone that's sick and dying, "OMG I FEEL SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME TODAY". In fact, the idea of it sounds horrific and MEAN. Think about this. THIS is how you are emotionally too when it comes to success.
We don't praise and say "thank you" and discuss our successes as much (if at all) around those that we know aren't sharing in our good fortune! YET saying "thank you" and "praising" is how we maintain it.
This is a case of "it's not you, it's them". You're just trying to be "considerate" but your consideration in this area will only hurt you more! Drop the negative, dead weight and move on!
4. In order to do something you've never done, you have to become someone you've never been.
Those are Les Brown's words, not mine! I say this all of the time, it's one of the quotes that keeps me strong. In order to be a writer, I must stop caring about what people think about me. In order to be a public speaker I must put myself out there more. In order to be an excellent social media consultant I have to be brutally honest with my business owners I'm working with.
Think about something you want to do in life and realize right now in this very moment that you cannot do it by doing what you've always been doing! In order to do something that you have never done before, you have to become someone you've never been before!
Successful people ALL recognize this CHANGE in you that MUST TAKE PLACE, and unsuccessful people do not! In fact, your unsuccessful friends will begrudge the "change" in you. They will say things to you like "you're not the person you used to be"...they will judge you for changing, not welcome it.
Successful people ALL KNOW that "this change" is a phenomenon that MUST happen within us all! ....Yes there is an obvious change that comes about.
I have personal close friends of mine that, during my change, would say "I know you, you're not capable of this, or you're not the person that can do these things". I would say back to them "I don't accept that, nor do I care for your opinion of me".
UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE will begrudge the morphing and changing and growing that MUST happen within you! Successful people will simply recognize that it is happening and congratulate you and be "strong" for you during this time.
5. Wanting to be successful in life yet refusing to get rid of your negative friends is like a butterfly shedding it's old skin but still choosing to walk among the trapped and caccooned; instead of flying and discovering the world you were meant to live in.
For no other reason other than insecurity and comfort, you are simply choosing to stay among the "un-living". Your old friends, as negative as they may be, at least "know you". I get it. Bad love is better than no love?
WRONG. You can't "grow" and be comfortable at the same time. It's just a fact of life. Part of growing pains is getting rid of the old and making room for the new.
You only have a certain amount of room in your life. Consider this fact and consider whom you're letting occupy your room. If your house is crowded with negative people TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU the positive people walking by see this and assume (a) you're one of them and (b) have no room for them.
Surround yourself with what you want, and you WILL attract it in your own life. It is a fact! You want success, have successful friends. You want to be a happy couple, have happy couple friends. Want to be healthy, surround yourself with healthy people.
This is one of the biggest mistakes people make once their diagnosed with a disease...they suddenly start surrounding themselves with others that are diagnosed with diseases and then wonder why they're falling deeper into a "negative funk". It's a force field. You want to be healthy, surround yourself with healthiness NOT unhealthiness. But you'd rather stay funky and be around other people that are as unhappy as you are so you can justify your negativity. What's the point?
YOU MUST get rid of your negative friends just so you can make room for your positive ones.
Bottom line: Negative people hold you back. You may not even realize this because you think you're above the it all, but you are not. It's time for the purge to happen. It's time for you to go through your life (INCLUDING Facebook) and delete ALL of those friends that you know would NOT be happy for you if you won the lottery tomorrow. Delete all of those friends that refuse to acknowledge your success. Delete all of those friends that you know aren't truly in your corner when it comes to your ultimate success.
Get rid of them all. IF and when they ever find their own happiness, you will be the first person they find.
You know how you can tell whether or not you're a positive or negative person? ONE QUICK RULE. Do people call you with their praise reports or their complaints and gripes in life?
IF you're the person people call when they're happy and great things are happening, this means they see you as a happy, successful person. If you're the one they call when things suck and they're pissed off, this means they see you as angry and negative! Period! It's that simple!
In order to be happy and successful you must surround yourself with people that are also happy and successful. There is no other option! You will NEVER see unequally matched partners in this area have a sustaining relationship....in life or in business. It just doesn't work.
You want happy? BE HAPPY, be around happy. You want success? BE success driven and surround yourself around other successful people.
People pull you up or bring you down. There is no other option!
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