Removing the title of negative people in our lives…
One of the most dangerous things we can do in our lives is give people titles. All titles. Mom. Dad. Sister. Brother. Best Friend. Close Friend. Good Friend.
Titles define people’s roles in our lives that may or may not last throughout the seasons in our lives. In the event that the role they’re supposed to play no longer lasts, we get stuck, fixated on this idea of who they’re supposed to be in our lives SIMPLY and ONLY because of the title we’ve given them.
Let me give you an example…a woman wrote to me last week and said one of the most negative people in her life is her sister. She said her sister is always the person holding her back. She’s the least happy for her if there’s ever a moment to celebrate. She’s the most negative about anything happening in life and she’s always complaining and dragging her down in life. BUT she can’t do anything about it because they’re “sisters”.
I call BS. I say one of the best things for her to do is strip the title of “sister” away and THEN consider the relationship. Forget that she’s your sister momentarily and take away that “title” and then ask yourself “how healthy is this relationship for me”?
Family can be one of the most detrimental relationships we have with people. Just because someone is related to us doesn’t give them a all access pass to run us down in life and run over us, take advantage of us, or disregard our own personal needs, desires or feelings.
Just because someone’s “family” doesn’t mean they get to railroad you and use you for all you’re worth. Strip away the title FIRST and THEN stop and really evaluate the relationship….if it were anyone else off the street would you put up with that crap? No chance. And you shouldn’t now!
Just because you’ve always known someone doesn’t mean you always should. Just because they’re apart of your past shouldn’t give them instant access to your future.
Put your foot down, have some self worth and set the boundaries in your life. We just talked about this. We TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. There is no exception to this rule. Especially family!
Here's what I would say:
Being around you makes me feel bad. But also not being around you makes me feel sad. But I have to choose self preservation now. The price of this relationship costs me more than I’m willing to pay these days. My happiness, my wholeness, my joy, my excitement, my smiles and laughter…aren’t worth the drama of you in my life. It’s not easy letting you go but at this point, it’s you or me…
Perhaps the lesson learned my friend is simply your own self worth! Removing the negative only makes room for more positive. Trust and believe that there's a better plan than the one in your head!
Strip away the title and re-evaluate the relationship all together. Do they truly still belong in your life OR are you just stuck on the title! Something to consider...