Stop shoving your religion down my throat. People like you have a history in our country of fighting against progress. You never win! You never will.
And for the record, we redefined marriage first when we stopped marrying multiple people, as they did in the Bible. We redefined marriage when men couldn't trade in their daughters' hand in marriage for land and farm animals. We redefined marriage when we allowed slaves in our country to marry. We redefined marriage again when we started allowing divorces. And then we redefined marriage once again when we allowed people of different ethnicities to marry one another. You clearly need a quick history lesson. I have no problem schooling you on the subject.
Your fight against progress will only put you on the wrong side of history. And congrats to you, you get to tell your grandkids some day that you fought hard against love and equality lolol. What's the point? Other than just to be an asshole?
If you don't like gay marriage then don't marry someone thats gay. It's a simple answer. But telling me your religion is against my marriage is like forcing me to not eat cookies because YOU are on a diet. Can't imagine what life must be like around your house where the world has to capitulate to YOUR every personal need and desire.
And for the record, truly, GOD is so much bigger than the little tiny box you put "him" in. So much more powerful than your lack of control. So much more intelligent than your small minded views and so much more loving than your actions suggest.
eradicating the stereotypes for both christians and for gays...something to consider, by kristy sinsara
When it comes to titles in life these days I'd like to be part of the movement that works to eradicate the natural assumptions made with both being "gay" and being "Christian".
Prior to 30 years ago I believe that being a "Christian" came along with the assumption that you not only were a believer in Jesus Christ, followed the teachings of the Bible and attended church regularly but also that you were kindhearted, giving, thoughtful, considerate, welcoming, compassionate and believed in a sense of "community".
Conversely, 30 years ago I believe that being "gay" came along with the assumption that you were "deviant," a drug user or alcoholic, sexually promiscuous, and perhaps had an overall hidden agenda of something seemingly dishonest.
There's a cultural war in this country that's now being fought over these titles. Millions of people no longer believe in the natural assumptions that once existed with these two groups. Outside the middle of the country, stating you're a Christian usually comes with the assumption that you're self righteous or judgmental. Unfortunately stating you're a Christian no longer comes with the assumption that you're kind or compassionate no more than stating you're gay means that you're "deviant" or dishonest.
But the truth is that no title fits a group of people as big as the ones called "Christians" OR "gays". Not all Christians are self-righteous and judgmental in the same manner that not all gay people are alike.
I grew up in a very strict Christian Southern Baptist home with strict parents that felt the absolute minimum we should be in church each week was twice on Sundays, once a week for visitation and, of course, Wednesday night services. Going to church was like going to school...not a suggestion...more like the law.
The people at the church I grew up in all looked, sounded and acted like each other. The gossiping and backstabbing and judgment was as prevalent as the praying and "saving". Anyone that was "different" was not welcome. I learned at a very young age that these people seemed far more interested in being like each other more than being anything like Jesus.
And things never really changed with my "church" experience. When I was in my mid 20's I was at a church with a friend of mine when a homeless man walked in and sat down. About ten minutes later a church deacon walked over to him, and asked him to leave and not return until after he had showered. Apparently one of the wealthy church supporters complained of the smell. I was so appalled I got up and left.
I have told this story a hundred times in my life and it is almost always been met with an equal to or more egregious story of the same manner told right back to me.
So now there's an entire generation of people just like me looking back on their childhood and "religious" experiences with these types of "Christians" calling out the BS for what it is. These experiences with an entire generation of people have sadly caused us all to now "question" the word "Christian". When you say you're going to church, I automatically wonder which group is on deck for judgment this week. The assumption that you're full of compassion and kindness certainly is not synonymous with "church" or being a "Christian". And this is unfortunate because being compassionate and kind, welcoming and building a sense of "community" is what being a Christian is actually all about. I honestly, truly believe that if Jesus Christ himself came to this earth in his physical body that most "Christians" would be shocked to find how truly disappointed he was in them. The judgment and backstabbing and hate and dissension has gotten to a point that saying the word "Christian" almost has a negative connotation. And that is just awful and sad to me.
On the flip side, if you happen to catch the latest local gay pride parade it seems to be nothing more than grown men prancing around in their ruffled, laced panties screaming about how they're "here and queer" and the world should just "get used to it". And here yet another double standard in America wherein we find a group of people actually promoting the worst type of stereotyping all the while claiming how much they hate to be "categorized" and pre-judged and screaming that the world judges them unfairly. Does it? Let's be honest?
I had a friend of mine once tell me that she was driving down the highway in California and this guy drove by and yelled "DYYYYYKE" and she was so upset by this she cried. Literally the next spring, she was in the gay pride parade in a group called "Dykes on Bikes" and I couldn't help but wonder how this is not a double standard. This seems equivalent to the double standard of Black Americans stating that the "N" word is the most offensive word in the English language but yet it's still so prevalent in movies and music among them??? But like many of my black friends that tell me how disgusted they are when they hear other black people using this word, I too am disgusted when I see people in the gay community promoting these stereotypes. If you're going to look like and act like a "dyke" you're not allowed to be upset if and when someone points it out. If you're going to be one of "those kind of Christians" you're not allowed to be upset if and when the world automatically calls you out on your "NON-CHRISTIAN" behavior!
The problem is that both of these groups, those claiming to be Christian and those claiming now to be gay once started on opposite ends of the spectrum, worked their ways away from one another and then back around only to inevitably meet up, once again in popular culture.
Christians are too big a group to all be lumped together and the assumptions are unfair. Gays are too big a group and too diverse in their own world to ever be lumped together. The truth is that I'm scared to say both!
I don't want to tell anyone I'm a Christian, I'd rather they decide for themselves through my actions, may they always speak louder than my words. I ask all of the time "if you weren't allowed to use your words to discuss your faith, what actions of yours tell the world how you believe"? Honestly, think about it.
In the same note, I rarely ever tell anyone I'm married to a woman until they have first gotten to know me because I am incredibly afraid to be lumped into that "category" of "dykes on bikes" and "we're here and queer" group. I'm not "militant" about my sexuality. I'm militant about WHO I, AM a woman, as a mom, as a spouse, as a human being, as a spiritual warrior in this lifetime. Being married to a woman is only one of many facets of me and certainly the last to define me.
So I think it's my duty as someone who refuses to live within the barriers of pop culture walls that I break free and start a new revolution of Christians and gays that agree to disagree perhaps on certain issues while still maintaining a strong sense of the common threads between them.
Bottom line, not all Christians are selfish, judgmental, condescending, backstabbing people. Many are truly the most loving, kindest, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate people with the greatest hearts for community. And if you are one of these Christians, it's your job to prove this. Be the difference. Change the world's opinion.
Bottom line, not all "gay" people fit into these stereotypes promulgated by our media sources. Not just many, but MOST are family oriented, faithful to their partners, kind hearted, fun loving, and compassionate giving, FAITH abiding, God-fearing, country loving folks. And if you are gay and this is YOU, it's your responsibility to come out and show the world your love. Be the difference. Change the world's opinion.
So let's work together to break down both of these stereotypes. Two groups of amazing people that have worked against each other to cause some extreme pain, dissention and hurt in this world, actually have much in common.
Truly if we could all see each other's emotional wounds as we could our physical wounds this world would be a kinder place. So put down your weapons and open your arms. More love never hurt anyone!
My wife and I have been married for several years and we have never one time, in our personal lives, EVER been a victim of homophobia or hate or ever had anyone say anything negative about our marriage or our family.
The closest we've ever gotten to anything even quasi rude is one time we were holding hands walking around New Orleans, five or six years ago, and some man drove by in his old Chevy pickup truck and yelled "I can love you better baby". LOL We just laughed and yelled back "doubtful". LOL We didn't even consider that to be rude, it was just funny to us. We get that a lot actually.
In all of the years we have been together we have found nothing but a compassionate, loving, accepting world welcoming and embracing us with open arms.
So I started wondering why there were still so many stories about other people being victimized by others just for being gay, when we have experienced nothing but love and acceptance from the people in our world?
Here's a few conclusions I've come to.
First of all, most people say that lesbians are just "more accepted" than gay men. Although I believe a smidgen of this statement may be true, I don't think it's a matter of women v men, as it is gay and lesbians that look more "straight". Hear me out...
I think one of the reasons my wife and I aren't targeted by haters is because we don't look like your typical lesbians. The problem with this misconception is that we actually DO look like your typical lesbians, you just don't realize it! And you don't realize it because all you notice in the world are the women dressed like and acting like men...and so you assume they're gay...and consequently and conversly assume that my wife and I, in our little black dresses and high heels, are not!
Despite what you may have seen or heard you would be shocked to know that most gay men are NOT actually effiminent and most lesbians aren't actually "masculine". The gay community is one place you cannot judge a book by it's cover.
I have a friend that's extremely "masculine"...and she's been married to her husband, whom she's very in love with, for several years now. She says people call her a "dyke" all of the time and it really bothers her that people assume she's gay. But therein lies the problem in itself...people assume she's gay because she's more "masculine" than your average female. People don't even realize she's been married for over twenty years to the same man. And the weird thing is that even after they discover she's married to a man, they still act hateful towards her.
But the truth is they're not hating on her for being gay or straight, they're hating on her for not looking like or acting like a woman. She's a stay at home mom that takes care of her husband in every way possible. Any man in their right mind would kill for a woman like her. Yet she's being hated on for not being feminine. Dyke is not a word used to describe a woman with another woman. I've never in my life been called a dyke. Dyke is a word some people use when referencing women that look like men. It's the word the world uses to point out a lack of femininity in women, not their sexual propensities.
So if you really consider this perspective, you realize that it's not necessarily that some gay and lesbians are being targeted for being gay as much as they're being hated on for not falling into the typical "male/female" roles.
This is truly an interesting concept and understanding and perspective that no one has yet to discuss. It really doesn't have anything to do with anyone being gay as much as it does their refusal to capitulate to societal male/female norms.
To the world, men are supposed to be manly and strong, women are supposed to be feminine and beautiful. And if and when any gay man or lesbian fits within this "norm", the world is far more accepting of their sexual proclivities. However, if they do not, they're attacked....and sure, they may call you a fag or a dyke but what I believe they're honestly having an issue with is their own lack of ability to accept men and women in anything other than traditional "male female" roles.
It's not that you are a man married to another man, I mean come ON, let's be honest, there are a TON of men in Hollywood that have come out of the closet and the world accepts them just fine...the issue is that YOU'RE NOT ACTING LIKE A MAN. It has nothing to do with your sexual proclivities. This is why that show The L Word was so popular. A group of very feminine women, ALL BEING SUPER GAY, but no one cared because they all still very much looked like your typical "woman" is supposed to look. They were all gorgeous and feminine. Think of all of the gay characters on TV. No one cares when they seem "normal".
But what I'm trying to explain here is that "normal" isn't being "straight"...it's being "traditional".
Lets all take a moment and be really honest here. Remove the crazy religious people from the equation, as the world is thankfully doing on this issue anyways...and consider how you would feel if your son or daughter told you they were gay. It's not the fact that they're in love with someone of the same sex that you're concerned with...it's the fact that you instantly believe that they're no longer going to be participating in "normal, traditional male/female" roles in life. It means your sons aren't going to fall in love and get married and have kids, build homes and put up stockade fences after watching Sunday football. It means your daughters are going to start dressing like men and chewing tobacco and trading in their little petite cars for monster trucks, playing softball and getting tattoos. THIS is what you fear. Losing your kids to these misconceptions....and not having grandkids.
But I'm here to tell you that it's not true. For most people you have nothing to fear. Most gay men I know are very manly, very strong, very stable, very much everything you would hope for in any kind of "straight" man. They're just a little cleaner and dress better.
Most lesbians I know are beautiful women that celebrate their femininity, they are still dying to have children, build a family and play house as much as the next girl... they just want to do all of the above without a penis around.
So I want to address both the haters and the lovers out there.
The choices we make are not about our sexuality but about how we choose to display it. The choices we make are not about who we naturally fall in love with but how we look when we're doing it.
I actually believe this country is more okay with gay people then we realize. The PROBLEM IS it has yet to come to terms with gender confusion...and THAT is ultimately the issue at hand!
GAY AND LESBIAN ISSUES IN AMERICA
I never wanted to be a "voice" for these issues. I have spent a great deal of my life turning my back on them and walking away from it all.