What the hell, Millennials? What’s your problem? By Kristy Sinsara
What the hell, Millennials? What’s your problem? By Kristy Sinsara
I recently read an article in the Huffington Post and Wall Street Journal, both of whom reported that Millennials are now bringing their parents to job interviews. I laughed out loud when I saw that, mostly because I thought, ”yep, that sounds about right.”
When I think about all of the Millennials I know, most of whom I would categorize as the most selfish, narcissistic, entitled, co-dependent, unmotivated human beings I have ever encountered, I realize that they all have one common denominator: Helicopter parents.
What’s a “helicopter parent”? According to the dictionary (yes, the term has actually made it to Webster’s) it is a parent who takes an overprotective, or excessive interest in the life of their child.
The Journal of Child and Family Studies found that college students who experienced helicopter parenting reported higher levels of depression and use of antidepressant medications. The researchers suggest that intrusive parenting interferes with the development of autonomy and competence. Therefore, helicopter parenting leads to dependence and decreased ability to complete any task without parental supervision.
Helicopter parents are likely to step in and not only personally handle and deal with any situation their child is in, but also refuse to allow their children to take any personal responsibility for themselves, or learn any basic life lesson for that matter while growing up.
When a helicopter parent raised-Millennial is out in the work force, they are suddenly in an environment like they have never experienced. Not to mention they’re suddenly surrounded by people that don’t just automatically assume everything about them is (OMG) perfect.
Helicopter parents are actually causing their children to be ostracized in the workforce and misunderstood on social levels, across the board. It’s honestly not their (the Millennials) fault. They were raised by parents who took such an excessive interest in them that it debilitated their natural growth in life. They were raised to believe all of their drawings were “UH-mazing.” Led to believe anything wrong was the fault of mommy and daddy. Told they had no imperfections, and if they had any “bad moments” it was probably someone else’s fault for not doing something right.
“Don’t take that personally pookie, mommy loves you”.
They take no personal responsibility. Expect everything. Work for almost nothing. Hold your hand out and…voila, shit will suddenly appear because, you’re just that awesome.
Guess what happens when these little f*ck*rs go to work? Everyone over the age of 35 HATES them! Seriously! Thanks mom and dad. Great job on raising a human being none of us can stand to be around.
So this article isn’t for those “chopper” parents. Nope. Thanks, but you’ve already caused enough damage. Just stop reading this and go think of some BS excuse as to why you hovered so low that you cut off the circulation to your children’s future.
I’m talking to YOU Millennials. ONE TIME I WILL SAY THIS TO YOU-- It’s not actually your fault (for realz this time).
You can fix this, you can change, and you can be better than your hover-copter mommies and daddies by just understanding and changing a few things:
1. Take some responsibility. Despite mommy and daddy telling you you’ve done nothing wrong, you should learn to start taking some responsibility for your actions. Despite what you were told growing up, you’re actually not perfect. And admitting to some of those imperfections is key in relationship building, in the real world. It makes us like you more when you’re mature enough to step up and say, “I was wrong, I’ll do better next time.” Aww…that’s adorable. And it makes us want to protect you, not murder you.
2. Work hard and stop bragging. I know mommy and daddy pay your car payment and that’s “super dope” and all, but…um…ours don’t. So…bragging about it while you’re doing a minimal amount of work makes us want to start smoking actual cigarettes again, and dammit, we all gave that up like ten years ago. Don’t make us go there! Just work hard and we will all respect your work ethic (something mommy and daddy never implemented in you).
3. Stop with the “expectations” already. Stop holding your hand out as if you deserve for someone to put something in it. You’re working with a generation of people that just survived a freaking recession. You’re working around people that have to rebuild their lives at the age of 60 because they lost their retirements 7 years ago. The last thing they want to see is your entitled, selfish ass demanding something…and then expecting it as if the world was a big fat genie that caters to your every need.
4. Be gracious. Don’t misinterpret compliments. It was just a momentary compliment for Christ sake, not a proclamation of your miraculous flawlessness. JESUS CHRIST. I complimented a Millennial once and you know what his response back to me was “I know, right?” UM, can I take my compliment back, because I hate you now.
He legitimately did something “praise worthy” and I felt the need to let him know it, yet instead of graciously accepting my compliment, he responded with entitlement and expectation. Guess who will never get a compliment again. YEEEEEP. YOU! You freaking douche canoe! UGH.
5. Stop talking to us like we’re idiots. This annoys me the most. Stop talking to us like we don’t “get” anything, as if you’re some super “aware” and “enlightened” human being with super human knowledge. You’re in college, you think your professor is a genius because he’s sharing secrets of the universe with you that you’ve never considered before. That’s totes adorbs. But guess what? We’ve all heard that shit before. Yes, those of us that went to college all learned that before you. And guess what else? None of that shit matters in the real world.
Remind us in twenty years what you learned in college and (honestly) we will actually be impressed with your memory, not your knowledge.
Listen, “Little M’s,” we don’t hate you, we actually just hate your parents for making you the way you are. But if you’re going to truly get anywhere in this life, it is NOT your parents you need to be listening to, it’s us -- out here, in the work force with you. We are trying to help you integrate into the world of reality.
We love your idealism; we need to be reminded that we can actually make a difference in this world. We adore your enthusiasm; we could stand to be a little more energetic ourselves. The truth is that the world needs you. But the world needs to you be better than your parents were to you. It’s okay to be a little vulnerable. It’s not actually weakness; it’s called being human!
(I would like to make a little side note here and state that I am aware that not all Millennials were raised with Copter Parents…and for those of you out there, we love you)
OMG totes hate me for like writing this? Let me know! Sinsara.email@example.com