1 Go find yourself.
Most people live life on autopilot and then, as they’re nearing old age, they start considering all of the things they never did, and all of the ways they never truly found themselves.
Screw that shit. Leave your job. Walk away from that unhappy marriage. Quit college to travel the world. GO FIND YOURSELF first…People who explore themselves, eventually find themselves and THOSE people are the one’s we’re all jealous of because they’re living their own life, in their own way, to their own beat. LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND and just GO FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE IN THIS WORLD!
2 Realize that everything about your life is a choice.
Stop being a victim. CHOOSE BETTER CHOICES.
Every single decision about your day determines what kind of life you're going to live, present moment and future. When you wake up feeling a little "bleh", choose to lay there and do something that inspires you before you actually get out of bed (I usually watch a TedX talk on my TedX app). You'll be thankful you decided to change your way of thinking before actually starting your day.
If you're wanting to lose weight CHOOSE to look beyond the delicious chocolate croissant and eat the fruit. If you're trying to work and get things accomplished, actively choose to stay focused and keep your cell phone out of range. If you're wanting to get into shape choose the gym over the television.
All of life is a choice. Take control over your choices!
3 Let that shit roll off of you and move on.
LISTEN TO ME.......HOW LONG YOU CHOOSE TO STAY IN SHITTY MOMENTS IS WHAT WILL ULTIMATELY DEFINE YOUR LIFE.
Life is shitty sometimes, and people are often disappointing. Okay. Move on. It’s a fact of life for us all. How long you choose to stay in these moments of disappointment and frustration, or anger…or resentment or fear…is a decision you make daily. Choose to move forward. Trust me when I tell you this won’t be the last time someone hurts your feelings or you’re pissed at the seeming unfairness of life.
Let me repeat: How long you choose to stay in the shitty moments, and relive it over and over, will ultimately define your future. CHOOSE to move forward. Stop talking about it. Stop reacting to it, stop living in the moments that break you...
4 What someone will do to someone else they will do to you too.
You’re never the exception to anyone’s rules. When you hear a friend gossiping about another friend, RUN! When your boyfriend is being a selfish dick to everyone around him. RUN. When you’re up against this person and faced with the same challenges they’re having with someone else the outcome will be the same for you too. So just save yourself the trouble and learn from a distance – RUN. I’ve never heard someone say “he spent his life treating everyone around him like shit BUT me”. Lol Don’t be ridiculous.
5 If you’re consumed by it, walk away from it.
Sometimes I get consumed by certain feelings and I find myself trying to fix or control the situation. What I’m learning to do in my life is walk away from it instead of move onto something else in my life, even if only momentarily….walking away brings us clarity.
If your wife is being an asshole and you have a thousand issues you need to bring up – walk away instead. I love how Brene Brown describes her first feelings to any given situation as a “shitty first draft” that she knows she should probably walk away from, sleep on, think about later…eventually get back to because, more likely than not, what’s consuming us isn’t our initial feelings about what we think is consuming us…there’s a deeper underling issue at hand.
Learn to walk away...take a deep breath, go on a hike, listen to some music, filter out your emotions from the issue...and come back to it.
6 Actively teach people how to treat you.
It’s like someone gave you a “victim” card years ago and you’re walking around life acting like it’s a get out of jail free card. If there’s one thing I cannot stand it’s when people complain about how other people treat them. If you don’t like how someone is treating you than DO NOT ACCEPT THEIR TREATMENT.
You're not a victim - you're a complainer at this point. Say something. Do something about it. Grow up, and learn to communicate your feelings. It is YOUR FAULT is someone is continuing to treat you badly.
7 Never let someone tell you how to get somewhere they’ve never been before.
I’ve told the story 100 times about the dude who was lost on the island with me…the one who tried to give me directions back to where I was going when he actually had NO clue where we even were. I mean, this dude was being explicit...exact directions...and then finally the truth comes out "he has no idea where he is, much less going, HE IS LOST TOO"!
This is life. Unfortunately, it is full of people who will give you directions on how to get somewhere they have never even been before. Listen people, before you allow someone to give you anything at all…find out first if they actually HAVE it to give.
Its dumbfounding to me that this is a fact of life…people who are far more lost than you will try and give you directions on how to find your way back to something. NEVER let someone tell you how to get somewhere, ESPECIALLY if they've never been there!
8 Do shit you’re not qualified to do.
One of the most amazing stories of my life…When I was 27 years old I got a job teaching college. I had no experience and was 100% unqualified for the job. I went through 5 different interviews for it and was told when I applied it wasn’t even a possibility. It became one of the greatest experiences of my life. Challenging myself to do things the world would otherwise tell me I’m not qualified to do is what has made me a super ninja.
The prerequisite in my life now is un-qualification. I work best when I am challenged beyond my own imagination. Don't consider whether you CAN - if it's in you to do it -GO WITH THAT and just do it.
CHALLENGE YOURSELF. Do it all.
9 Let yourself be whatever you need to be in whatever moment you’re having.
One of the things that held me back the most, and pissed me off quite frankly, after my brother died were ALL of the people who tried to make me “unsad”. My brother just died. I felt devastated. SHUT UP. This idea that we should suppress everything feeling and medicate ourselves so we can deal with all of the underlying subconscious issues we’ve just created is unhealthy – and ridiculous.
Someone dies. You’re going through a divorce. You lost a job. A friend disappointed you? Whatever it is…you’re a human being –with human emotions. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD – allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
It wasn’t finally until someone told me I was going to be sad for the rest of my life that I finally felt permission to just BE sad. FEEL what you need to feel in every moment that you need to feel it...and then move on!
10 Stop needing to know the ending to shit and just go with it (all).
Here’s you: You don’t want to be in a relationship unless you know for sure it’s going to work out. You don’t want to take a job unless you know for sure you’ll be happier in the long run there. You don’t want to move until you’ve considered all options, at every angle.
Knowing the ending of the story while you’re in Chapter 1 isn’t going to alleviate you of any stress or disappointment. It’s only going to cause you to not live mindfully and freely in the moments as they’re happening.
You call it impatience – when it’s actually just you being controlling! You want to make sure you can live in control of every aspect of your life – but guess what sugar tits…you aint got no control – over anything, ever.
Stop feeling the need to skip to the back of the chapter (or book) and know the answers to things. We learn and grow THROUGH experiences...not through the ending or conclusion of a chapter.
Learn to let go and just let it all flow - let the chips fall into place and roll with it.
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