1 Go find yourself.
Most people live life on autopilot and then, as they’re nearing old age, they start considering all of the things they never did, and all of the ways they never truly found themselves.
Screw that shit. Leave your job. Walk away from that unhappy marriage. Quit college to travel the world. GO FIND YOURSELF first…People who explore themselves, eventually find themselves and THOSE people are the one’s we’re all jealous of because they’re living their own life, in their own way, to their own beat. LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND and just GO FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE IN THIS WORLD!
2 Realize that everything about your life is a choice.
Stop being a victim. CHOOSE BETTER CHOICES.
Every single decision about your day determines what kind of life you're going to live, present moment and future. When you wake up feeling a little "bleh", choose to lay there and do something that inspires you before you actually get out of bed (I usually watch a TedX talk on my TedX app). You'll be thankful you decided to change your way of thinking before actually starting your day.
If you're wanting to lose weight CHOOSE to look beyond the delicious chocolate croissant and eat the fruit. If you're trying to work and get things accomplished, actively choose to stay focused and keep your cell phone out of range. If you're wanting to get into shape choose the gym over the television.
All of life is a choice. Take control over your choices!
3 Let that shit roll off of you and move on.
LISTEN TO ME.......HOW LONG YOU CHOOSE TO STAY IN SHITTY MOMENTS IS WHAT WILL ULTIMATELY DEFINE YOUR LIFE.
Life is shitty sometimes, and people are often disappointing. Okay. Move on. It’s a fact of life for us all. How long you choose to stay in these moments of disappointment and frustration, or anger…or resentment or fear…is a decision you make daily. Choose to move forward. Trust me when I tell you this won’t be the last time someone hurts your feelings or you’re pissed at the seeming unfairness of life.
Let me repeat: How long you choose to stay in the shitty moments, and relive it over and over, will ultimately define your future. CHOOSE to move forward. Stop talking about it. Stop reacting to it, stop living in the moments that break you...
4 What someone will do to someone else they will do to you too.
You’re never the exception to anyone’s rules. When you hear a friend gossiping about another friend, RUN! When your boyfriend is being a selfish dick to everyone around him. RUN. When you’re up against this person and faced with the same challenges they’re having with someone else the outcome will be the same for you too. So just save yourself the trouble and learn from a distance – RUN. I’ve never heard someone say “he spent his life treating everyone around him like shit BUT me”. Lol Don’t be ridiculous.
5 If you’re consumed by it, walk away from it.
Sometimes I get consumed by certain feelings and I find myself trying to fix or control the situation. What I’m learning to do in my life is walk away from it instead of move onto something else in my life, even if only momentarily….walking away brings us clarity.
If your wife is being an asshole and you have a thousand issues you need to bring up – walk away instead. I love how Brene Brown describes her first feelings to any given situation as a “shitty first draft” that she knows she should probably walk away from, sleep on, think about later…eventually get back to because, more likely than not, what’s consuming us isn’t our initial feelings about what we think is consuming us…there’s a deeper underling issue at hand.
Learn to walk away...take a deep breath, go on a hike, listen to some music, filter out your emotions from the issue...and come back to it.
6 Actively teach people how to treat you.
It’s like someone gave you a “victim” card years ago and you’re walking around life acting like it’s a get out of jail free card. If there’s one thing I cannot stand it’s when people complain about how other people treat them. If you don’t like how someone is treating you than DO NOT ACCEPT THEIR TREATMENT.
You're not a victim - you're a complainer at this point. Say something. Do something about it. Grow up, and learn to communicate your feelings. It is YOUR FAULT is someone is continuing to treat you badly.
7 Never let someone tell you how to get somewhere they’ve never been before.
I’ve told the story 100 times about the dude who was lost on the island with me…the one who tried to give me directions back to where I was going when he actually had NO clue where we even were. I mean, this dude was being explicit...exact directions...and then finally the truth comes out "he has no idea where he is, much less going, HE IS LOST TOO"!
This is life. Unfortunately, it is full of people who will give you directions on how to get somewhere they have never even been before. Listen people, before you allow someone to give you anything at all…find out first if they actually HAVE it to give.
Its dumbfounding to me that this is a fact of life…people who are far more lost than you will try and give you directions on how to find your way back to something. NEVER let someone tell you how to get somewhere, ESPECIALLY if they've never been there!
8 Do shit you’re not qualified to do.
One of the most amazing stories of my life…When I was 27 years old I got a job teaching college. I had no experience and was 100% unqualified for the job. I went through 5 different interviews for it and was told when I applied it wasn’t even a possibility. It became one of the greatest experiences of my life. Challenging myself to do things the world would otherwise tell me I’m not qualified to do is what has made me a super ninja.
The prerequisite in my life now is un-qualification. I work best when I am challenged beyond my own imagination. Don't consider whether you CAN - if it's in you to do it -GO WITH THAT and just do it.
CHALLENGE YOURSELF. Do it all.
9 Let yourself be whatever you need to be in whatever moment you’re having.
One of the things that held me back the most, and pissed me off quite frankly, after my brother died were ALL of the people who tried to make me “unsad”. My brother just died. I felt devastated. SHUT UP. This idea that we should suppress everything feeling and medicate ourselves so we can deal with all of the underlying subconscious issues we’ve just created is unhealthy – and ridiculous.
Someone dies. You’re going through a divorce. You lost a job. A friend disappointed you? Whatever it is…you’re a human being –with human emotions. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD – allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel.
It wasn’t finally until someone told me I was going to be sad for the rest of my life that I finally felt permission to just BE sad. FEEL what you need to feel in every moment that you need to feel it...and then move on!
10 Stop needing to know the ending to shit and just go with it (all).
Here’s you: You don’t want to be in a relationship unless you know for sure it’s going to work out. You don’t want to take a job unless you know for sure you’ll be happier in the long run there. You don’t want to move until you’ve considered all options, at every angle.
Knowing the ending of the story while you’re in Chapter 1 isn’t going to alleviate you of any stress or disappointment. It’s only going to cause you to not live mindfully and freely in the moments as they’re happening.
You call it impatience – when it’s actually just you being controlling! You want to make sure you can live in control of every aspect of your life – but guess what sugar tits…you aint got no control – over anything, ever.
Stop feeling the need to skip to the back of the chapter (or book) and know the answers to things. We learn and grow THROUGH experiences...not through the ending or conclusion of a chapter.
Learn to let go and just let it all flow - let the chips fall into place and roll with it.
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A national suicide prevention group emailed me asking if I had any video blogs about this issue for Suicide Prevention Month. I didn't, until now, but it's certainly an issue I can speak of. I've never known anyone who has ever committed suicide. BUT the truth is that I have personally dealt with the feelings of wanting to for most of my adult life.
Perhaps it wasn’t always on a determined level, maybe it's just a "Why bother wearing my seatbelt?" or "I wouldn't mind if I died today," kind of level. For almost all of my adult life, the feeling was there, whether the thought was or not.
I grew up in a really confusing and abusive home. A lost kid who turned into a troubled teen who eventually became a very broken adult. My life has always been this perfect balance of good and bad, which sounds great when you say it but sometimes you get exhausted from the highs and lows. Balance is not actually what we seek in life.
The truth is that I've done some amazing things with my life. I've met some amazing people, been to some amazing places, and have some really cool accomplishments behind me. BUT I have also fucked up my life on a level that used to seem overwhelming. Here’s the “balance” we don’t actually want. Along with all of those great accomplishments I have also, and equally, made some really stupid decisions in my life and done things I feared I would never be able to overcome.
It's daunting and suffocating to realize YOU are your own worst enemy in this life and so I know what it feels like to wonder what the point of all of this is. I know what it feels like to want to start all over. Hit the restart button in life. I used to just want to run away...from everything...
This is where suicide thoughts come in. You want to run away from everything until you realize it is YOU you're running from...and then when you discover you can't run from yourself you consider killing yourself. That's the truth.
BUT HERE IS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS.
I have been there. I have seen that side of the dark world we live in. I have lived inside the darkness of my own mind. I have been on the edge of death, staring at what seems more like a "new start" than a "bad ending". By the time I was 16 I had ran away from home a dozen times. By the time I was 18 I was pregnant and homeless, literally living on the streets. I decided to give my son up for adoption and that decision broke my spirit down on a level I couldn’t seem to recover from, and when I was 19 I tried killing myself for the first time. By the time I was 20 I was in jail (for stealing something I didn’t even need to steal), just because I was desperate for attention from someone I thought loved me. I felt like I had officially ruined my life past the point of return and so by the time I was 22 years old I took some pills and tried killing myself again.
Here’s the shitty difficult part about life. Once you’ve headed down the wrong path in life it’s almost impossible to break free into a new life because it seems as though every single time you try to get ahead SOMEONE SOMEWHERE tries dragging you back down. And it’s exhausting. HOLY SHIT is it exhausting.
There has always been this haunting following of every mistake I have ever made, and for the longest time that haunting spoke to me.
What I discovered is what actually feels overwhelming is IF and WHEN your past feels more powerful than your future.
THAT is what’s hard to break free from.
But it doesn’t always have to feel that way.
I want to tell you the things that I did, consistently and slowly through time, to help grow out of my depression and thoughts of suicide.
10 THOUGHTS & THINGS THAT CAN HELP CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
1. You have to stop thinking that the world is a fair or unfair place. It's neither, it's both - and it's not personal. It doesn’t matter. It’s the personalizing of the world around you that is weighing you down. I know, because I used to do it. And it’s a heavy feeling to carry. Never measure yourself or your life up against anyone else. Never consider anyone else’s life around you. It’s better, it’s worse, it doesn’t matter. It has nothing to do with you. Besides, when we compare ourselves to others it’s wildly unfair because we always and only compare the best of them against the worst of us. We never even do it evenly. It’s not fair.
2. Believe in the order, trust the process. Stop leaving things to “chance”. There are no accidents in the universe. Everything you have ever been through is preparing you for something in your future. There is an order to the universe. Just like there’s a natural order in nature, you are part of the natural order in this world.
3. Look in the mirror and say it out loud “There’s only one you in this world”. On this entire planet there is only ONE YOU and you have something to bring to this world that no one else can bring in the way that you can bring it. There is something unique and special about you. You may be thinking there’s nothing unique or special about you. YES there is! There is actually something that you can do, in the way that you can personally do it, that’s better than anyone else on this planet. There’s something you’re supposed to do, give, sing, teach, be, love, draw, write, play, live…your energy, the energy of your spirit, is attached to one or more verbs in this life. Your job right now is to find it.
4. You have to understand that there is a higher power, something greater than you, that can guide you through this. God. The energy of life. The force within us. The omni-present being alive in this world. Call him/her/it what you will…it IS God. And it is very real. You are part of me, of us all. We are all connected in this world. We are all extensions of the same energy. Allow that energy to guide you, and trust in it, believe in it, and live every day in the awareness of its presence in you and all around you.
5. Be your own hero. You’ll never meet anyone who will save you. Many will help you. Many will pick you up along the way. Some may even nurse you back to life, but no one but you can save you. I am the hero of my own story. Sometimes when I’m having a really shitty day, and I feel like the world is coming down around me, I honestly just look in the mirror and say out loud “It’s just us today”. I have found comfort in loving myself and being my own best friend.
You often times feel alone because you have spent your life relying on those around you to save you…and time and time again they have all, in some way, disappointed you. They’re always going to, and that’s okay, because they’re all supposed to be the heroes of their own stories too. You’re on stage in your own life, front and center. Act like you own it. Make yourself proud. Laugh at yourself more. Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Many of you are lonely….and you want to find your “person” in this world? Let me remind you that you cannot ever give that which you do not have to give. LOVE BEGINS WITH YOURSELF. You will never be able to fully love another human being until you first learn how to love yourself.
6. There is nothing you will ever go through in life that someone hasn’t already been through. There is someone on this planet that understands you. And even if the issue isn’t always the same, the feelings usually are. YOU ARE NOT, YOU HAVE BEVER BEEN, NOR WILL YOU EVER TRULY BE ALONE.
7. Most people see the world as they are and not as it really is. The world is not as cold as your life may feel right now. It’s not as lonely as you feel. It’s not as judgmental or as callous. It’s actually an incredible, beautiful, loving place. You’re living in a cold space, with very little love, little to no sunlight…and I’m telling you to step over just a bit and realize there’s plenty of what you’re looking for if you would just move into the light.
We all find what we are looking to find. So if all you’re seeing is the bad stuff, my question to you is, why is that all you’re looking for? Start looking for the beauty in it all, it’s all around you. What you choose to see IS a choice.
8. Don’t let the bad one’s get to you. You can’t rid the world of bad people. Learn to ignore them and move forward. Stop allowing them to get to you. Stop giving them any of your energy. STOP STOPPING on the side of the road for them. It’s like you’re driving down the road every day and you see someone who is holding up a sign that says, “You’re not good enough”. DO NOT PULL OVER FOR THAT GUY holding that sign. Don’t pull over in life for the people holding signs that hold you down.
9. The top 5 people you spend the most time with are the people who are influencing you the most. If those people are not living a life YOU ultimately want to be living you need to replace them with 5 more people who can help guide you. Surround yourself with people you want to be LIKE, NOT people who you ARE LIKE! It’s the number one way to get ahead in life; surround yourself with better people who are already “ahead” of you.
10. Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know when you didn’t know it. And forgive yourself for knowing and doing it anyway. Forgiveness is key to moving forward in life. It’s okay, we have all effed up, and we’ve all been “there”. We’ve all fallen and failed. Spend a moment in your life today, write down all of the things you’re mad about, ashamed of, pissed off about, hurt from, and can’t seem to get over and forgive it all. All of them and all of you. That was yesterday, today is a new day, tomorrow’s even better!
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What the hell, Millennials? What’s your problem? By Kristy Sinsara
What the hell, Millennials? What’s your problem? By Kristy Sinsara
I recently read an article in the Huffington Post and Wall Street Journal, both of whom reported that Millennials are now bringing their parents to job interviews. I laughed out loud when I saw that, mostly because I thought, ”yep, that sounds about right.”
When I think about all of the Millennials I know, most of whom I would categorize as the most selfish, narcissistic, entitled, co-dependent, unmotivated human beings I have ever encountered, I realize that they all have one common denominator: Helicopter parents.
What’s a “helicopter parent”? According to the dictionary (yes, the term has actually made it to Webster’s) it is a parent who takes an overprotective, or excessive interest in the life of their child.
The Journal of Child and Family Studies found that college students who experienced helicopter parenting reported higher levels of depression and use of antidepressant medications. The researchers suggest that intrusive parenting interferes with the development of autonomy and competence. Therefore, helicopter parenting leads to dependence and decreased ability to complete any task without parental supervision.
Helicopter parents are likely to step in and not only personally handle and deal with any situation their child is in, but also refuse to allow their children to take any personal responsibility for themselves, or learn any basic life lesson for that matter while growing up.
When a helicopter parent raised-Millennial is out in the work force, they are suddenly in an environment like they have never experienced. Not to mention they’re suddenly surrounded by people that don’t just automatically assume everything about them is (OMG) perfect.
Helicopter parents are actually causing their children to be ostracized in the workforce and misunderstood on social levels, across the board. It’s honestly not their (the Millennials) fault. They were raised by parents who took such an excessive interest in them that it debilitated their natural growth in life. They were raised to believe all of their drawings were “UH-mazing.” Led to believe anything wrong was the fault of mommy and daddy. Told they had no imperfections, and if they had any “bad moments” it was probably someone else’s fault for not doing something right.
“Don’t take that personally pookie, mommy loves you”.
They take no personal responsibility. Expect everything. Work for almost nothing. Hold your hand out and…voila, shit will suddenly appear because, you’re just that awesome.
Guess what happens when these little f*ck*rs go to work? Everyone over the age of 35 HATES them! Seriously! Thanks mom and dad. Great job on raising a human being none of us can stand to be around.
So this article isn’t for those “chopper” parents. Nope. Thanks, but you’ve already caused enough damage. Just stop reading this and go think of some BS excuse as to why you hovered so low that you cut off the circulation to your children’s future.
I’m talking to YOU Millennials. ONE TIME I WILL SAY THIS TO YOU-- It’s not actually your fault (for realz this time).
You can fix this, you can change, and you can be better than your hover-copter mommies and daddies by just understanding and changing a few things:
1. Take some responsibility. Despite mommy and daddy telling you you’ve done nothing wrong, you should learn to start taking some responsibility for your actions. Despite what you were told growing up, you’re actually not perfect. And admitting to some of those imperfections is key in relationship building, in the real world. It makes us like you more when you’re mature enough to step up and say, “I was wrong, I’ll do better next time.” Aww…that’s adorable. And it makes us want to protect you, not murder you.
2. Work hard and stop bragging. I know mommy and daddy pay your car payment and that’s “super dope” and all, but…um…ours don’t. So…bragging about it while you’re doing a minimal amount of work makes us want to start smoking actual cigarettes again, and dammit, we all gave that up like ten years ago. Don’t make us go there! Just work hard and we will all respect your work ethic (something mommy and daddy never implemented in you).
3. Stop with the “expectations” already. Stop holding your hand out as if you deserve for someone to put something in it. You’re working with a generation of people that just survived a freaking recession. You’re working around people that have to rebuild their lives at the age of 60 because they lost their retirements 7 years ago. The last thing they want to see is your entitled, selfish ass demanding something…and then expecting it as if the world was a big fat genie that caters to your every need.
4. Be gracious. Don’t misinterpret compliments. It was just a momentary compliment for Christ sake, not a proclamation of your miraculous flawlessness. JESUS CHRIST. I complimented a Millennial once and you know what his response back to me was “I know, right?” UM, can I take my compliment back, because I hate you now.
He legitimately did something “praise worthy” and I felt the need to let him know it, yet instead of graciously accepting my compliment, he responded with entitlement and expectation. Guess who will never get a compliment again. YEEEEEP. YOU! You freaking douche canoe! UGH.
5. Stop talking to us like we’re idiots. This annoys me the most. Stop talking to us like we don’t “get” anything, as if you’re some super “aware” and “enlightened” human being with super human knowledge. You’re in college, you think your professor is a genius because he’s sharing secrets of the universe with you that you’ve never considered before. That’s totes adorbs. But guess what? We’ve all heard that shit before. Yes, those of us that went to college all learned that before you. And guess what else? None of that shit matters in the real world.
Remind us in twenty years what you learned in college and (honestly) we will actually be impressed with your memory, not your knowledge.
Listen, “Little M’s,” we don’t hate you, we actually just hate your parents for making you the way you are. But if you’re going to truly get anywhere in this life, it is NOT your parents you need to be listening to, it’s us -- out here, in the work force with you. We are trying to help you integrate into the world of reality.
We love your idealism; we need to be reminded that we can actually make a difference in this world. We adore your enthusiasm; we could stand to be a little more energetic ourselves. The truth is that the world needs you. But the world needs to you be better than your parents were to you. It’s okay to be a little vulnerable. It’s not actually weakness; it’s called being human!
(I would like to make a little side note here and state that I am aware that not all Millennials were raised with Copter Parents…and for those of you out there, we love you)
OMG totes hate me for like writing this? Let me know! Sinsara.firstname.lastname@example.org
I'll happily admit that I have changed so much in the last 2 years of my life that I truly barely recognize myself anymore. I don't even like to eat the same things, much less be around the same people. It seems like literally everything about me has changed.
One of the obvious changes is my choice in friends. Many people have this strange idea that all friends must be "life" friends. That's not true. People are in our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. It's truly not ours to judge which category someone should be in, and doing so often is what keeps us stuck in friendships...believing someone is a "lifer" when in fact they just may be a "seasonal" or "specific purpose" friend, confuses us. We must learn to recognize when we have grown out of our friends....
Here's some obvious ways to tell whether or not you have grown out of your friends.
1. All you do is sit around and discuss "old times" together. You have to be honest with yourself and realize that you're only sitting around discussing "old times" and "old you" things because they don't understand, or "get", the "new you".
Ex. You got married and had a baby, he's still living single and partying like a rockstar. The only bridge between you is sometimes the memories you've created.
Another more relevant example in my life is the fact that I used to be broken and lost and eventually I found myself and became successful in more ways than one...and all of those people I surrounded myself with when I was at my worst, no longer have anything at all in common with the new and improved me now.
I personally don't want to sit around and discuss old times with them because those old times are not something I'm necessarily proud of or happy to be rehashing.
When the conversation get's awkward after the initial reunion, and all you're doing is rehashing old times, and nothing more, then I think it's safe to say you've grown out of that person! Have your mini reunion and let it go....
2. You have nothing in common anymore. Let's be honest...you're sitting around discussing nothing but old times because there's really not much else to discuss. If you're sitting around staring into the abyss, realizing how awkward and uncomfortable it is to be around them...well, I think it's time to hang up the friendship hat.
It's okay to grow out of people. That's all part of life. Sometimes people grow with us, but the truth is that more often than not, they don't. More often than not, you grow apart and you just need to accept this when it happens. It's not bad, it's actually a good thing, and you should be happy for the memories made, and realize that their purpose in your life is over....and move on.
3. You're constantly finding yourself placating them. Do you know what that word means? Placating means you're pacifying or appeasing them in one way or another, for one reason or another. They're telling you about something you truly have no interest in, or think is just plain stupid, and you're telling them how incredible you think it is...when in actuality you think it's the dumbest dipshit idea you've ever heard.
However, you feel like you have to placate them because in your heart you know you're at the end of your friendship, and any wrong move could potentially be the final, devastating blow that ends it all.
If you feel like "any wrong move" could end your friendship, trust me, it's already over!
True friends are honest with one another and don't placate each other. Trust me when I tell you that I have a group of friends that love to tell it like it is, and hold nothing back on their honest feelings about things...and I love them all the more for it.
4. You're too embarrassed to bring them around your "new friends". I have had this issue before...the NEW me is so significantly different than the old me that my old friends no longer represent me. The apples never fall far from the trees. If you show me your top 5 closest friends, I can give you a pretty good idea of who you are as well! We all know this to be the truth...and if you have a friend that doesn't accurately represent who you are, then I can guarantee you the friendship is already over!
If you're too embarrassed to have them around, as you are aware that they no longer represent you or your life, then it's time to call it a day! Fun's over, moving on!
5. You don't make time for them. Friendships are some of our most important relationships in life. And like all relationships, they need to be nurtured to be sustained. If you refuse to make time for your friends, or would rather be doing anything BUT...it's time to be honest about where your friendships stands and just call a spade a spade.
I used to have old friends call me up and say "hey, let's go have a drink" and I would find myself making excuses as to why I had to do anything I could think of in order to "not be able to" hang out with them. "Sorry, I wish I could but it's dog washing day, and um...well, and then after that I have to paint my damn toe nails...and oh, I'm sorry, maybe next time".
I'm not sure where we had this idea that we must always keep people around in our lives forever. That's a simple, childish, immature way of looking at relationships. The truth is that, whether it's a marriage, friendship, working relationship or otherwise we often just grow out of people in life...and that is okay when it happens.
Don't fight it. Cherish the fact that you're growing up in life...and just continue to move forward.
One of the most detrimental things you can do is continue to have someone in your life that no longer belongs there...however, often times our emotions override our logic and we keep them around because we "know them". We find comfort not in their friendship but in the history of it. And that's not friendship!
What I have discovered in my life is that sometimes we grow out of people and they leave us...and sometimes they are gone forever, and sometimes they come back to us, and our paths cross again! Either way, there's a reason, a season or a lifetime category that all people belong in and the worst thing we can do is place someone in the wrong category!
It's not your job to keep someone in your life...if someone is meant to be there, they wouldn't be able to leave...and someone that CAN leave, should leave! Your life should be like a revolving door of people coming in and out of it...and it's not your place to judge the ones that are walking out...let them walk out. Besides, you only have so much room on the inside...chances are that if they're walking out, they're only creating more room for new people to walk in.
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TOP 10 WAYS TO ATTRACT WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE...how to make all of your thoughts, become all of your things...
There's not a lot of people that truly understand how the Law of Attraction works. I say it all of the time..."all of your thoughts, are becoming all of you things, whether you realize it or not".
Most people scoff at the idea, and dismiss it instantly with a flippant thought of "if I were attracting what I wanted, I'd be rich right now". Well, not necessarily! What most people don't realize is that they're not actually attracting what they WANT, they're attracting what they DO NOT want.
Most people spend most of their daily time and energy fixated on what's wrong with their lives, and therefore attracting MORE of it.
If you're thinking about how much you wished you were out of debt...you're probably focused on that pile of bills in front of you...and therefore your energy is being directed towards "more bills", not "more money". The law of attraction is working...in abundance, it's just that you're not using this incredible gift and power you have correctly.
Most people's energy is directed towards what they want to get rid of, not what they want to attract. So here's some simple daily tools you can use to help redirect your mind, and create more abundance in life.
1. Stop verbalizing anything that's negative and "wrong" with your life right now. Make a promise to yourself, right now, that for one solid month you will NOT discuss anything that's wrong with you, him, them, her, it, that, those, etc...
STOP TALKING ABOUT IT! Do you know how much energy is being put out by you when you constantly complain about your life and everything that's wrong with it? ALL YOU ARE DOING is attracting MORE of the "wrong" stuff.
2. Make a list of what you have to truly be grateful for...and I'm not just talking about the obvious stuff (kids, home, health, job)...I'm talking about the things you should be feeling true gratitude for on a daily basis...like HOPE, and your ability to DO MORE, HAVE MORE, BE MORE. Focus on the full part of the glass, not the empty part.
3. Start speaking abundance over your life. Start talking about how excited you are about the changes that are taking place and how those changes are bringing you all that you could ever hope for and believe in.
We no longer talk about what's wrong...so now, we only discuss what's right. When someone brings up what's wrong, you just dismiss it and do not skip a beat. Keep on moving forward....
4. FOCUS ON A SINGLE MOMENT IN YOUR FUTURE that hasn't yet happened...that you are wanting to attract...and think about it almost as if it were a memory already. A memory creates feelings and energy...so can a focused idea of your future!
Example: I am getting more into public speaking. I want my calendar this year to be filled with speaking engagements and book tours. I have a single thought that I am focused on where I just got through speaking and a woman in a grey suit walks up to me and thanks for me speaking "to her", and asks me to sign my book she's holding. We are surrounding by about 12-15...and I can see it right now in my mind, as if it's already happened. I am THAT detailed about what I'm attracting. I'm so excited for this moment to happen...and believe me when I tell you IT WILL HAPPEN!
Think about what you REALLY truly want in life this year and focus on a detail about a moment you can live in after having attracted it.
5. Make a dream board. Do you know what a dream board is? It's focused intention! THAT is what a dream board is. Listen, most people never attain their primary goals in life because they are constantly side-tracked by secondary activities. MOST PEOPLE focus and direct their daily energy towards stuff that doesn't even matter to them.
Go to the store and buy a cardboard, or make it on the wall in your bedroom, put it in your office...anywhere where you can see it often...and post pictures of the life you want to be living and focus on that life every single day meditate on what it will feel like to be living that life. Focus on how you're going to feel when you are driving that new car, working that dream job, writing that incredible novel, or just living in that amazing marriage!
How often do you spend time in your day doing crap that you truly, honestly don't even care about? A dream board can keep your energy and tasks focused and on point.
It can also remind you of how very powerful you are and your innate Devine ability to attract all that you seek in life.
6. Understand and BELIEVE with unwavering faith that ALL THAT YOU ARE SEEKING IS ALSO SEEKING YOU! On the other side of all of your doubts and fears is a life that you could be living, just waiting for you to believe in it. Your dreams are waiting for you.
Can you imagine if, when you die, you are surrounded by the spirits of your dreams that you never allowed to come true? THEY CAME TO YOU for a reason...but you weren't strong enough to make them happen!
How disappointed you would be in that moment to be looking at all of your life dreams in the face while they're disappointed eyes are looking back at you wondering why you couldn't muster up the faith to realize them into existence.
7. Understand that your passions are inside of YOU for a reason! THere's only one you in this world. YOU NEED TO FEEL AS SPECIAL, AND UNIQUE, AS YOU ARE!
Your dreams and passions aren't living inside of me...they're inside of YOU for a reason. Every single thing about you that is unique, makes you stronger!
8. Surround yourself with people that believe in you and/or that are living in abundance. One of the absolute worst things that you could ever do is surround yourself with someone that is negative and a non-believer in you.
This is why sick people shouldn't be around other sick people. This is truly why some people stay in a perpetual state of "sickness"...because they have surrounded themselves with other "like-minded" individuals and they will never break free from all that ails them, physically, emotionally or mentally because they are surrounded by people that keep them in a state of perpetual negativity!
Break free from anyone that is negative! I do not care WHO this is.
Do you realize that sick people that refuse to cultivate a "sick" mind end up healing 1000 times faster (and often "unexplainably"). It's not coincidental that "sick" people that surround themselves with "healthy" people all of the sudden get over their sicknesses. Seriously! Stop making excuses for why you need to be friends with that person that allows you to constantly complain in life. You don't need that friend...and that friend isn't a friend anyways! That "friend" is only someone that helps you stay down, and out, and doesn't care about your future!
9. In order to do something you've never done, you have to become someone you've never been. Understand this rule and live by it. If you want LIVE a different life, you need to become the person that is worthy of that life.
If you want to attract better people, become someone that attracts better people. You want to attract a good man? BE a good woman! You want to attract a good woman. BE a good man!
10. Take personal responsibility and stop being a victim! All of your thoughts are turning into all of your feelings, which are turning into all of your energy and becoming all of the things in your life right now.
Death affects us all differently. It not only depends on who we are, but who they were to us. Having a child die, I believe, is quite different than having a grandparent die. Having a spouse or close sibling die is different than a parent, but it all depends on our personal relationships.
My brother died a few years ago, and when he died, a little piece of me died with him. I have never felt loss on that level before in my life. I've never known heartache on that level before that moment. To say the least, I was not prepared in any way for that moment and the moments that followed his death. If you have ever had anyone truly close to you die than you understand that death is not something you can ever truly prepare for, no matter how much of a warning you were ever given.
A week before my brother died he came to my office to have lunch with me, and I exhaustedly agreed to it. I was busy and I rushed through the lunch! For the life of me I cannot remember what I was so busy doing that day.
I was haunted by this decision for years afterwards. The unforgiving reality that I rushed through the last moments I would ever have with my brother has caused me more overwhelming grief than I could ever explain to you.
I didn't talk about his death for the longest time because I was absolutely certain that talking about it would belittle my actual feelings, there were no words to explain the depths of my brokenness and heartbreak. I was just...lost.
And in my loss and grief, people would say the most awful things to me. They would say things they thought were "helpful”, but to me it all just added to the pain I was feeling. I realized instantly that most people do not know how to deal with death, from the perspective of helping someone through it OR going through it personally.
I have written several blogs about how his death became the ultimate catalyst in my life for change. But instead I would like to share with you now
The Top 5 Rules to Helping Those Who Are Grieving.
1. The best words of advice I received was from a client of mine who lost his brother 30 years ago and he said "don't try to get over the sadness, just be sad, as long as you need to be sad. You'll never "get over" the loss, you'll just eventually learn to cope with it".
Those words were so comforting to me. They were so REAL to me. In a whirlwind of sadness and anger and loss, it made sense. Finally!
So I would say the same thing to you. Just let yourself feel what you need to feel. And know that you will NEVER "get over it". You'll just eventually learn to cope with and live with it. The loss gets integrated in with your life and eventually you move on to have better days. However throughout your years you'll always be sporadically taken back to these moments. And that's okay!
2. When comforting someone that's dealing with the loss of someone, you need to understand that there are no "words" that will "fix it". Many of us have "fix it" attitudes, out of love, we want desperately to fix the broken spirits around us...but this is not possible when dealing with grief. There is nothing "TO FIX".
You can't change what's happened. You can't make it all better. So stop trying! The only thing you can do is be a shoulder to cry on, and an understanding ear that listens.
Don't try and fix it. Just BE there!
3. When dealing with the loss, realize that it's going to take a lifetime. There's no reason to rush through the pain. Don't make yourself hurry through the process. Just let it happen...as it needs to naturally happen within you.
I still have days where I feel so sad that I feel a little debilitated by the loss still. And I just let those moments happen, when they happen. Know that it's okay, and they'll continue to happen for the rest of your life; when you see a picture or hear a song, you'll feel it all over again! Let the moments come and go.
4. When I gave birth to my son Connor I remember saying over and over in my head 7lbs, 19 inches...7lbs, 19 inches...over and over I said it because I didn't want to forget that moment. I look back and laugh at that now. I was so young and naive. As if I could ever forget the moment my son was born....
Little did I know then that YOU DON'T FORGET certain moments in your life. When my brother died I looked at the clock and did the same thing, April 3, 2011 at 4:03am...over and over.
I don't know what you were doing on April 3, 2011...but I will NEVER forget what I was doing. You should understand that your loved ones that are coping with loss and grief feel the same way. These dates are extremely important. Let them know you understand that. Do NOT dismiss these dates, they will always mean something! Memorialize the dates and let them keep their meaning to you.
5. MOST IMPORTANT LESSON TO LEARN: the number one way that I coped with my brother's death was to be happy for his life. I imagined what life would have been like without him at all, because that's the only way I wouldn't have had to handle his death. And the truth is that I'd choose the life I had with him over and over and over, even if it meant I had to relive that horrible day on April 3, 2011.
Think about the fact that you know you would choose the life over and over, even if it meant you had to relive the death. Think about what their life meant to you, what they gave to you, how they changed you, helped you, made you...
This wasn't just "Scott's journey". This was OUR journey together. I just have more to learn...and he was ready to move on...
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This was a video of me and my brother, Scott, 6 months before he died.
The truth is that "life" happens to us all. The difference isn't WHAT happens to us as much as it is HOW we handle it all, as it comes our way...
The bigger truth is that the more successful people have mastered the mind and learned to think, feel and "act" independent of circumstances and stay strong, "truck through" and "stay on track" despite what's happening around them, or even "to" them.
Here's some things I've discovered that truly successful people wake up and tell themselves, or other people.
1. Good morning.
Did you know that happy people say "good morning" more often than unhappy people? Do you ever say "good morning", out loud? Try it, not just to people in your home, but as often as you can once you leave the house!
Saying "good morning", out loud, to as many people as possible, creates positive energy... and what better way to start your day than through spreading positive energy. LIFE is an echo. What we put out, we all get back.
2. I own today!
When did we lose sight of the fact that we are in control? Why have we convinced ourselves it's easier to be a victim in life? Stop pretending like you keep falling into bad days...when the truth is that you keep CHOOSING to have bad days!
Sure, you have no control over what happens to you, but you have 100%, absolute control over how you respond to it. You get to choose whether or not it puts you in a bad mood or good mood. So, just choose better! YOU own today!
3. Everything works together for my good.
Successful people have an innate belief that the universe is conspiring FOR them, not against them. They believe wholeheartedly that all things work together for their good. Thoughts become things...thoughts become things...
Successful people believe in the law of attraction...what are you attracting?
4. Thank you!
The truth is that those who say "thank you" will always have the most to say thank you for. When I was depressed and lonely and in a very dark place, one of the first things I did to pull myself up was I started to say "thank you" as much as I could, for anything I could think to say "thank you" for. AND it's true...it is a FACT of life that the universe opened up to me and gave me more and more and more things to say thank you for. It was so cool to see it unfolding for me...so I pass along this miracle of life the echos for us all.
Say thank you, live in gratitude and your life will open up in ways you never thought imaginable.
5. You're incredible, how can I help you?
I am pretty sure this is not coincidental that truly successful human beings in life seem to praise others, a lot, AND try and help others too. Successful people aren't selfish by nature. They are kind and helpful.
The best way to get what you want in life is to help others get what they need.
So today instead of thinking about what all is about to "happen to you", think instead of how you are about to take control over it all and make it your own!
Good morning to me. Today is my day. Today I'm going to learn something I haven't learned before. I'm going to choose to let things happen around me, without changing what happens inside of me. Today I'm going to let the chips fall where they may, and know it's all working together for my good. Thank you for that. Today I'm going to help someone. I'm going to spread so much love and joy that I will collect as many "thank you's" as I can all day long. Today is going to be amazing...and even though a bunch of stuff will happen that will try and change my mind, or get me off track...it will NOT change, because I'm in control. I'm so freaking excited about this day I'm about to have. New adventures...thoughts become things...THANK YOU!
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Want to read more? My new book: FORTY LIFE LESSONS I LEARNED BEFORE 40 will be out in mid April. Watch for it on Amazon.com.
I was totally depressed and lost in this world. I couldn't seem to catch a break. I was living in fear, constantly worried and only felt extreme doubt. I lost my career. My marriage was ending. I was devastated and heartbroken over the loss of my brother that just died. I was disconnected from the kids. I was only going through the physical motions of life...I was on a downward spiral and hope was fading into darkness.
And then...one day, I woke up and decided to change.
One and a half years ago I was 40 pounds overweight, depressed, lost and completely lonely and hopeless. I didn't even have Facebook friends, much less "real life friends". I was running out of money and time; and depression was rolling in like a ominous storm hovering over my life.
NOW, I have a new company, a new life and a whole new following that all came about because I made a pact with myself to follow these 8 simple rules here.
This is how I went from "poverty" to endless "possibilities"...from 33 social media friends to over 60,000 followers, in a single year. How I went from no one even knowing I had a written a blog to now over 2 million faithful and loyal readers? How I went from "everything is falling apart" to "everything is falling into place". How I went from lost to found, and hopeless to hopeful. How I went from #mylifesucks to #blessedbeyondmeasure
THIS IS HOW. I followed these 8 simple steps...and didn't skip a beat! If you are serious about changing your life. If you are serious about wanting something MORE for yourself. If you are serious about needing to get out of this RUT that you are in...you will do these things.
Otherwise, you'll wake up ten years from in the life you're living today...and nothing will change for you!
HOW I CHANGED MY LIFE IN 8 SIMPLE STEPS
1. The first thing I did was take a little inventory over who was in my life and immediately got rid of 99% of them.
This is the most important step because it sets the tone for true "movement" and "change" and "growth". If you're not serious, you'll skip this step, if you ARE serious, you'll be more than happy to make room for some more positive people around you. You have limited space in your life for others...the five closest people to you are the ones you'll be most influenced by. It's honestly better to have no one, then anyone that's negative...and let me tell you that the people in your life that are ALLOWING you to live how you're living may not be "saying" negative things, but the very fact that they're "allowing" you to continue like this makes them a negative influence, whether you realize it or not. GET rid of them!
When you finally make the decision to CHANGE you only want people around you that can lift you up, pick you up and hold you up. At this stage...if they're not helping, they're hurting. There is NO exception to this rule and it VERY MUCH includes family!
2. Next, I took ownership over the fact that my life is only going to be exactly what I make of it...no one is going to suddenly appear and fix it all for me.
People spend their crappy lives waiting for some miracle to walk in their front door and just change everything with a magic wand. It's not going to happen. YOU are the only person in control of your life and control of the direction its headed. If you're waiting for someone to change you, you'll die being the person you are now and in the life you're living today. NO ONE will change your life but you!
3. Next, I reconnected with God and started a spiritual journey where I placed most of my focus and energy.
Most of you know how I feel about this...let go of all of that religious crap you've been taught and connect with GOD on a deeper, spiritual, MORE PERSONAL level! You want to know how to connect with God on a spiritual level? Question everything you've been taught through religion. Open up your mind and heart and just PAY attention to all of the lessons around you! You don't need a priest, a rabbi, a preacher, or some self-proclaimed "holy man" to be your voice for you or your bridge to God.
I read the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, The Four Agreements and watched the movie The Secret, to kick start my spiritual journey! I suggest you do these three things as well!
4. Next...no matter how slow or fast I went...I swore that I would only move in a forward motion, never looking back. Past is gone, learn the lessons and move forward.
As long as your movement is forward, it's all good. Some days are going to mean more than others...but every day will count if you're only moving in a forward motion. Anytime you start to recognize past behavior, stop it immediately and be the person you're wanting to be. Eventually the surface of you will become the depth of you and you won't even recognize yourself, or your life.
You'll start to see change most through retrospective vision...meaning you'll start to look back and realize you are NOWHERE near where you used to be in life. It's a very cool feeling and it turbo charges your forward movement.
5. Next, got rid of all of the possibility poverty titles I had given myself "I'm not good enough, I don't have enough, I can't, I'm not talented enough, I don't know enough"....
The agreements we make with ourselves are what shapes our lives.
What we tell ourselves is the most important part of our lives. You are exactly what you believe you are going to be. Whatever agreements you make with yourself; those agreements are truth! If you tell yourself that you're not enough, you WON'T be enough. If you tell yourself that you're a failure, you will be a failure! If you tell yourself that people only use you, people will only use you. If you tell yourself that everyone is out to get you and hurt you and only bad things happen to you, that'll all be true too!
6. And I only spoke positive things over myself and my life to the point of sounding crazy...
Start telling yourself different things....this is your story...NEVER FORGET that it is YOURS to write!
The agreements we make with ourselves ARE all true. The cool thing is, they're ours to make! So change what it is that you're speaking over your own life!
I seriously started bragging about how everything I did turned to gold and you know what happened? Before long, everything I did started turning to gold. I started telling people that it seemed like I had "favor" with God...and you know what happened; people (strangers) would tell that back to me....someone actually wrote on my FB page "I swear you have favor with God"...seriously! I started telling myself that I was talented beyond measure and creative and without even asking for it, things would fall into my lap...and guess what started happening...
This is your story to write...tell yourself whatever you want. BECAUSE those agreements that you choose to make with yourself are the ones that are all true!
7. Next, I made a list of all of the things in my life that I am extremely grateful for and started saying "thank you" for all of them, out loud...I said thank you for anything and everything I could. I would drive through green lights and say "thank you" out loud. THANK YOU became part of my every day vernacular.
I say it daily, "those who say thank you, have the most to say thank you for". There is nothing that brings about more abundance in life than gratitude!
Gratitude is the vehicle that brings about blessings. Say thank you, every single day, all day long for anything and everything you could possibly say thank you for and watch your life change instantly around you!
THIS is the law of attraction...when you are saying thank you, the universe is opening up and wanting to offer you more things to say thank you for! TRUST ME on this one. I live in a constant state of gratitude!
8. And then...I made a dream board. I wrote down short term and long term goals and would put on my headphones, every single day, (still do this) listen to music that I can feel in my soul...and imagine myself living in the life I want to be living.
And every single day that I do this, I say thank you...not because I have it but because I know it is Gods great pleasure to give it to me. All in good time....
The law of attraction doesn't need you to understand it or believe in it in order for it to work. Whether you realize it or not YOUR THOUGHTS are BECOMING YOUR THINGS. Thoughts lead to feelings which is energy which pulls everything back in around you and life is an echo!
What you're thinking about...is what you're bringing about. Make a dream board and stay focused!
Life is your choice. This is your moment.
You weren't created to be depressed and sad. You didn't survive all that you have survived in life just so you could be alone and hurting and hopeless. There is a purpose to your life that only you can find. It will start by stepping out of your comfort zone and following your passions in life.
I don't remember the exact moment my life turned around because I was so focused on spiritual growth that I can't recall...it's funny how day by day nothing seems to change but you look back and everything is different. All I know now is that I seriously don't even recognize the woman I used to be...and thank GOD (literally) for that!
It's hard to think and feel independent of what's happening around us but figuring out how to do that is the first step in changing your life. It's easier said than done but it IS possible!
THIS is what I know...when it rains it pours because the second it started to rain you immediately started worrying it would pour...and therefore, it did.
The second something goes right, you think "omg I'm going to have a great day" and therefore you do.
The minute tragedy happens you get stuck in thought and feeling and more and more tragedy comes about. It IS the law of attraction you need not understand anything more than the simple fact that it exists and is powerful.
Life is your choice and this is your moment. What are you attracting?
THAT is the first question I asked myself on the first day I changed my life.
By Kristy Sinsara
Did this blog speak to you? Perhaps you'll enjoy my book The Forty Life Lessons I Learned Before the Age of Forty will be available in mid April-2014. Check back on Amazon for availability.
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Top Five Reasons Why You Should Only Surround Yourself With Happy, Successful People, by Kristy Sinsara
Before reading this article you should really stop for a moment and consider what it means to you to be "happy" and "successful". Funny thing is that most people say they want both, and spend their lives chasing both, but never even stop to consider what it means to them, personally, to be happy or successful.
Happiness and success are two words that are defined differently by us all. For me, happy people are people that always try and see the good in things around them. Happy people are people that take life's lemons and make EVERYONE lemonade, without any prompting or pushing. Happy people are just...well...HAPPY, smiling, laughing a lot, joking around, easy going, "let the chips fall where they may" kind of folks.
Success to me isn't about money. I've had six figure incomes. I've had prestigious jobs. I've built three separate companies in my lifetime that I've franchised out or sold off. I've been "financially" rewarded yet completely unfulfilled before. Trust me when I tell you that money does NOT buy happiness OR success, or fulfillment or passion....
Success to me means I'm doing what I'm most passionate about in life, and making an acceptable living (by my standards) doing it. I'm most passionate about writing, speaking, and helping others. I'm currently making a living as a writer, a public speaker and a social media consultant, so I'm personally feeling successful!
But I've been at the bottom of this professional ladder I'm currently climbing and I'd like to share with you some things I've noticed along the upward climb!
1. If you don't surround yourself with happy people, you're going to be fighting needless battles.
I'm always trying to explain to people that "thoughts become things"...but really what I mean by this is that thoughts turn into feelings (which is energy) and that energy becomes "things". Happiness is strong energy! Unfortunately, so is negativity and sadness. On my climb up the ladder of success I noticed my "not so happy" friends constantly making little "snide" remarks to me about my success.
The people in my life that aren't happy for me all have one common denominator...they aren't happy with themselves either! Often times they don't realize how deeply unhappy they are, and they don't realize the negative impact they can have on your life...negativity is a very strong energy force...do NOT let it in, especially why you're climbing UP. Just imagine you're trying to climb and there's a negative force trying to push you back...THAT is your negative friends. LET THEM GO. Trust me on this. Some day they will hopefully find happiness on their own, and when they do, you'll be the first person they seek out in life.
It's all good.
2. It makes some people feel "less than" when you are "more than".
It's true. It's just human nature that when you're just happy and talking about all of the things you have, or are getting, or getting to be, or acquiring (if even through extreme hard work and dedication) it only reminds people of what they don't have.
You should surround yourself with people that are successful so that when you are finding success you get to live in a feeling of gratitude more frequently. Surround yourself with people that have MORE than you, as much as you can. Think about how infrequently you brag, when surrounded by "not so successful" friends. Think about the difference in their attitudes back to you.
I have two friends on opposite ends of the spectrum here. One is extremely successful the other is a lonely, bored, negative housewife that sits around and gossips all day.
When the successful friend found out that my book was finally published and available she flipped out with excitement for me. "how can I help you get more sales" - she asked. "I'm so proud of you, what can I do for you, this is incredible"...was her response.
My other friend said "Saw you wrote that book, not sharing with anyone, good for you". Period.
My successful friend is coming from a place of abundance and can live in the moment of gratitude with me...and the other is coming from a place of "lacking" and feels angry over my success, as it's only reminding her of her daily lack of fulfillment. Nothing good will come from making people feel less than, on your end. So you're doing yourself a favor by dropping the negative dead weight!
3. You won't be living in the state of constant gratitude that is required to maintain success IF you do not surround yourself with people you can be grateful around.
Gratitude is the attitude that brings about success. I say it all of the time. Those who say "thank you" have the most to say "thank you" for. It is a FACT in life. Gratitude is what brings about success.
BUT you don't say "thank you" as much as you should when you're not surrounding yourself with people you feel are happy for you. That's just human nature.
MUCH LIKE if you were physically whole and healthy, and in absolute perfect physical condition,...you would NOT brag about, praise constantly, or perhaps even discuss, your current physically awesome, healthy state of being around someone that has cancer, or extremely sick.
You wouldn't say to someone that's sick and dying, "OMG I FEEL SO AMAZINGLY AWESOME TODAY". In fact, the idea of it sounds horrific and MEAN. Think about this. THIS is how you are emotionally too when it comes to success.
We don't praise and say "thank you" and discuss our successes as much (if at all) around those that we know aren't sharing in our good fortune! YET saying "thank you" and "praising" is how we maintain it.
This is a case of "it's not you, it's them". You're just trying to be "considerate" but your consideration in this area will only hurt you more! Drop the negative, dead weight and move on!
4. In order to do something you've never done, you have to become someone you've never been.
Those are Les Brown's words, not mine! I say this all of the time, it's one of the quotes that keeps me strong. In order to be a writer, I must stop caring about what people think about me. In order to be a public speaker I must put myself out there more. In order to be an excellent social media consultant I have to be brutally honest with my business owners I'm working with.
Think about something you want to do in life and realize right now in this very moment that you cannot do it by doing what you've always been doing! In order to do something that you have never done before, you have to become someone you've never been before!
Successful people ALL recognize this CHANGE in you that MUST TAKE PLACE, and unsuccessful people do not! In fact, your unsuccessful friends will begrudge the "change" in you. They will say things to you like "you're not the person you used to be"...they will judge you for changing, not welcome it.
Successful people ALL KNOW that "this change" is a phenomenon that MUST happen within us all! ....Yes there is an obvious change that comes about.
I have personal close friends of mine that, during my change, would say "I know you, you're not capable of this, or you're not the person that can do these things". I would say back to them "I don't accept that, nor do I care for your opinion of me".
UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE will begrudge the morphing and changing and growing that MUST happen within you! Successful people will simply recognize that it is happening and congratulate you and be "strong" for you during this time.
5. Wanting to be successful in life yet refusing to get rid of your negative friends is like a butterfly shedding it's old skin but still choosing to walk among the trapped and caccooned; instead of flying and discovering the world you were meant to live in.
For no other reason other than insecurity and comfort, you are simply choosing to stay among the "un-living". Your old friends, as negative as they may be, at least "know you". I get it. Bad love is better than no love?
WRONG. You can't "grow" and be comfortable at the same time. It's just a fact of life. Part of growing pains is getting rid of the old and making room for the new.
You only have a certain amount of room in your life. Consider this fact and consider whom you're letting occupy your room. If your house is crowded with negative people TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU the positive people walking by see this and assume (a) you're one of them and (b) have no room for them.
Surround yourself with what you want, and you WILL attract it in your own life. It is a fact! You want success, have successful friends. You want to be a happy couple, have happy couple friends. Want to be healthy, surround yourself with healthy people.
This is one of the biggest mistakes people make once their diagnosed with a disease...they suddenly start surrounding themselves with others that are diagnosed with diseases and then wonder why they're falling deeper into a "negative funk". It's a force field. You want to be healthy, surround yourself with healthiness NOT unhealthiness. But you'd rather stay funky and be around other people that are as unhappy as you are so you can justify your negativity. What's the point?
YOU MUST get rid of your negative friends just so you can make room for your positive ones.
Bottom line: Negative people hold you back. You may not even realize this because you think you're above the it all, but you are not. It's time for the purge to happen. It's time for you to go through your life (INCLUDING Facebook) and delete ALL of those friends that you know would NOT be happy for you if you won the lottery tomorrow. Delete all of those friends that refuse to acknowledge your success. Delete all of those friends that you know aren't truly in your corner when it comes to your ultimate success.
Get rid of them all. IF and when they ever find their own happiness, you will be the first person they find.
You know how you can tell whether or not you're a positive or negative person? ONE QUICK RULE. Do people call you with their praise reports or their complaints and gripes in life?
IF you're the person people call when they're happy and great things are happening, this means they see you as a happy, successful person. If you're the one they call when things suck and they're pissed off, this means they see you as angry and negative! Period! It's that simple!
In order to be happy and successful you must surround yourself with people that are also happy and successful. There is no other option! You will NEVER see unequally matched partners in this area have a sustaining relationship....in life or in business. It just doesn't work.
You want happy? BE HAPPY, be around happy. You want success? BE success driven and surround yourself around other successful people.
People pull you up or bring you down. There is no other option!
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THE BEST DAY…by Kristy Sinsara
I went to sleep the other night and thought to myself “tomorrow is going to be great”.
But then I woke up the next morning and realized my alarm clock didn’t go off and I started my day out 20 minutes late…and I already don’t give myself enough time in the mornings.
Then our 14 year old just remembered it was picture day and she couldn’t find her form to turn in, nor could she find anything to wear…
So now we have find the time later to drive all the way over to her school just to drop off her form.
I finally make it back home only to discover I had used the last of the coffee yesterday. Oh but wait, my Amazon package is supposed to arrive today, I think there’s coffee in it. A little hope there….just breathe.
I finally sit back down in my studio ready to tackle my amazing day…only to check in with my very first client and find out that that commercial I had spent over 10 hours making a few days ago was way off the mark. And he wanted me to start all over.
And finally when I hang up the phone the phone rings again from an unknown number which I pick up and discover it’s a neighbor from four blocks away saying she has my dog, that’s broken out of my backyard.
Later that afternoon, the doorbell rings and it’s my Amazon package, yay coffee has finally arrived. I need it today. Only to open the package and realize it’s not actually the coffee I ordered. Flavored coffee? Hazelnut?
The kids finally get home from school but I don’t have time to sit and help with homework today. You’re on your own, help each other.
Back to work for me…and I will be here for hours.
So it’s 11pm, the kids are in bed, everyone’s asleep in my house, and I just got finished working.
I finally lay my head down in bed and right before I fall asleep I remember to check my alarm for tomorrow, only to see an old text message I’d missed from earlier today in the middle of all of the chaos that said “I love you so much, thank you for bringing my stuff to school for me”.
And then I thought to myself, as I looked back on my day today….had our 14 year old not forgotten her picture form, we wouldn’t have had to drive over to the school where we accidentally ran into one of her teachers in the hallway that stopped us to tell us what an absolute joy and pleasure she was to have in class, and raved about how much all of the teachers there adored her. What a great thing to hear. I’m so glad we went to her school today.
And that client that wasn’t happy with the original commercial I had spent so much time making, was so impressed with my willingness to start all over just to make him happy, that not only did he order another commercial, he referred three other people to me. Wow!
And what a strange coincidence that the lady that found my dog owns the local gym in our town, wow, she’s going to be a great new client.
And I laid there remembering what it sounded like to listen to the kids earlier doing their homework together, laughing and talking to each other like they used to. It was so awesome to hear. Every parent knows there’s 100 years in between a 14 and a 10 year old. That was just amazing…
And it dawned on me….truly, life really is all about perspective. All of the things I thought went wrong today were actually all of the things that caused me to HAVE the best day ever.
So from now on when something doesn’t go like I think it should, I’m just going to yell, PLOT TWIST…and keep on moving. Thank you! All about perspective, all in a day.
Oh, and I LOVE Hazelnut!